How Does Norv Turner Still Have A Job?

ESPN - The championship window has closed in San Diego. Once considered the best roster in the league, the San Diego Chargers have seen impressive depth dwindle, they’ve gotten old in key spots and they have lacked toughness. The result has been a steady decline in the last two years. “They are one of the most confusing teams I’ve ever seen,” Gary Horton of Scouts Inc. said. “You expect so much from them and then they don’t deliver … They should be so much better, but then you watch them and they can’t do it. I just don’t get them.” The Chargers -- widely considered as a Super Bowl contender going into this season -- stagger into a Monday night game at Jacksonville on a six-game losing skid. It is the Chargers’ longest such streak in 10 years. After starting 4-1 and looking like a playoff team, San Diego is now 4-7 and apparently on course to miss the playoffs for the second consecutive season. After owning the AFC West for four years, the Chargers are 13-14 since the start of the 2010 season.

I feel like I always ask this question, but seriously - how has this guy not been fired every single season? Has anyone ever done less with more? He was handed a Pro Bowl roster and simply just can't win. It's like he just stands around and doesn't say or do anything, like he just doesn't coach, at all. I don't live in San Diego so maybe I just don't hear all that much about him, but it's really like he doesn't even exist, like the Chargers are still looking for a head coach and decided to just move on the last couple years without one - just have a ton of assistant coaches trolling around the sidelines. They need to fire this guy and they needed to fire him yesterday.

Week 13 Picks: Almost Back to .500 (@mspici)

Browns +7

Bengals +7: I like them to win this game outright.

Chargers -1.5: Same pattern every year- lose enough to get Norv Turner on the hot seat, win like crazy in the second half of the season.


Record: 16-17-3

Sucker Free Sunday: Week 11 LOCKS

Coming off my first 0-3 week of 2011 and not trying to follow Mike's pattern, so plan on winning some of these this week. Here we go:

This guy is starting Monday Night. This guy.

New England -15 - Kansas City is starting a guy who has never started an NFL game before... He's played for the New Orleans Saints, Arizona Cardinals, California Redwoods, Montreal Alouettes, Pittsburgh Steelers, and now the Kansas City Chiefs. Notice there were two non-NFL teams mixed in that THREE year span. So this undrafted FA is going to start his first ever NFL game on Monday Night Football AT New England? By the way New England is really good, too. Fuckin' lock.

NY Giants -5.5 - Vick, out. Maclin, out. Insert Vince Young who's season stats are.... Drumroll please.... 0 for 1, INT. Lock it up, $100 on it.

Buffalo +3 - Buffalo has been struggling lately, and I hate Buffalo and love watching them lose, but there's no real reason for them to be 3 point dogs against the Dolphins. They still have Fred Jackson, still have Steve Johnson, and Ryan Fitz who should all have great match-ups today. Love the field goal spread on the road, because there's a real good shot that's what this game will be decided by.

2011 Record: 16-12-2 (WC 3-9)

Wild Card Picks

Tennessee +7 - The Titans put it together offensively last week for the first time without Kenny Britt. Hasselbeck has seemed to have found a target in Damian Williams, and Chris Johnson is slowly getting back into form. I think they're evenly matched up with Atlanta now that Julio Jones has been ruled out, so 7 points works nice for me.

San Diego +5 - Looks like everyone is finally off the San Diego bandwagon, but that puts me on it. I'm like a hipster with picks. No one thinks picking SD is cool? Well now I do. I also have gone against Chicago pretty much every single week, I absolutely do NOT believe in this team. They overachieve what seems like every year, and get love for beating soft teams. Cutler is soft, and if SD comes out and plays the way they're capable of.... This could very easily be a blowout for the Chargers. Love getting 5 points for an offense that can explode at any moment.

Week 5 Football Bets Which I Can Favorably Predict

With Swag and Spich making weekly picks, it seemed about time that I threw my hat in the ring.  So why not start with some controversy and pick against Swag in my first offering:

JAGS -2.5 over the Bengals

True, Jags got owned by the Jets a few weeks ago and looked like pretty much the worst team to ever play football.  That was before the Blaine Gabbert era.  His first full game was in a monsoon and they looked pretty decent against the Saints last week, a much better team than the Bengals.  The Bengals already lost to Denver, possibly the least talented team in the NFL.  And they managed an inspiring 8 points against San Francisco.  They did knock off the undefeated Bills, but at this point who can even determine if the Bills are really any good.  Gabbert is only going to get better as he learns the offense and how to be a professional.  Jags win by a TD

Chargers -4 over BRONCOS

Speaking of the least talented team in the NFL, I just don't see Kyle Orton being able to compete with this guy.  The Chargers are an absolute top 10 team in the league.  I don't care if this game is at elevation 1 trazillion feet.  Vincent Jackson is probable.  Ryan Matthews is catching fire.  Malcom Flloyd is healthy.  This game has the makings of a blow out.  When your starting running back loses his job to Willis McGahee, you know it is going to be a long season.  Chargers by 13.


Cardinals +2.5 over VIKINGS

Donovan McNabb is just bad.  That's all there is to it.  How a quarterback leads a team that is 3rd overall in rushing but 24th overall in point scoring without being crucified by the media is beyond me.  How many more weapons does Donovan have to get before we can all admit that he just doesn't have it anymore.  He's a play maker who is too old to make plays.  At this point AP probably just wants to throw the passes too.  The Cardinals almost beat the Giants last week and have suffered some pretty excruciating losses.  They are 0-3 and their losses are by a combined 8 points.  You know they are coming out gunning for that first win.  Larry Fitz is back to being Larry Fitz now that the Cardinals abandoned the open try out for quarterback that was the 2010 season.  Beanie Wells got three touches on the board last week.  They look a little week on pass defense but the shouldn't be much of a problem with Father Time taking snaps for the Vikes.  Cards by 9.


There you have it folks.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Am I Good Or Am I Good? Week 4 Edition


Another big week for me as I improve to 8-3-1 this season with my LOCK picks. Most of the games Sunday went do to the last second to see if teams would cover the spreads, but for me I hit 2 out of 3 for the third week in a row. Props go out to Mike who hit all three of his picks to turn around a slow first couple of weeks. Even better, he took two extra games over on TheSportsBanter and hit those as well for a perfect 5-0 week! Nothing worse than when your birthday lands on a Monday, but going 5-0 helps, congrats.

On to the part where I show off:

What I said about the Lions/Cowboys game: Romo is still not 100% which means he's got an even better shot at making "I wish I was Brett Favre" throws and getting picked off. I think Calvin Johnson continues on his pace to score 94 TD's and the Lions win by a touchdown in Dallas.

Not sure if I could've been more accurate on this one. Cowboys were up 24 and Romo tries to imitate Brett Favre, throws 3 INT's and two of them are brought back to the house on consecutive possessions. Calvin Johnson catches two more TD's late, continues his monster pace. Lions win by 4.

Prediction: Romo gets picked off, Johnson scores multiple TD's, Lions win by a TD. Actual: Romo gets picked 3 times, two for scores - Johnson scores multiple TD's, Lions win by 4.

What I said about the Saints/Jaguars game: I don't understand this spread. Colston coming back this week, against the Blaine Gabbert led Jacksonville Jaguars. 7 points? Jax needs at least 21 to start, right? Brees and the Saints just put up 40 and outscored Matt Schaub and the Texans by 7. You really think the Jaguars are keeping pace with the Saints? Unless MJD is running, throwing, and catching all over the field then there's no chance in hell this game is within 14 points. This is an absolute lock.

Brees throws for a season high with 351 yards, but only throws 1 TD and was picked off twice. Not ideal. But the Saints were still able to take care of business and win it by 13. MJD only got 11 carries and Gabbert couldn't do much in his 2nd career start. MJD needed to be more involved if they wanted a chance, but they kept it closer than it should have been. I had to check the box score, and yeah Colston was back, 1 catch 8 yards.

Prediction: New Orleans by 14 easily. Actual: New Orleans by 13, and it was a struggle.

What I said about the Dolphins/Chargers game: I don't like the Chargers. I said it. They don't have Gates healthy, they haven't been able to find a rhythm offensively and I hate their defense. They're notoriously a terrible first half team, and they almost lost to the Kansas City Chiefs last week as 14 point favorites. I think this game stays close and will be decided by a FG.

Even after I posted this I admitted this was a reach, and no where near a lock. But I felt confident the Chargers wouldn't cover just by looking at recent history. Norv Turner can never seem to get his team going before November and December. This game was actually close throughout and was 13-10 at the half. I was feeling good at that point, but then it turned into the Dan Carpenter show - Miami could not move the football past the 20 yard line. Can't even say their Red Zone offense was bad because it couldn't get there. As they kicked FG's the Chargers matched along with a TD to cover the spread.

Prediction: Game stays close and is decided by a FG. Actual: Game stayed close, then it didn't, Chargers by 10.

Week 4 Picks: Don't Bet your Life On It

Finally, a winning week. First time that's happened all year. Feels good to get the monkey off my back. Now we can do some actual damage.

Giants -1.5: This is not an optimal situation for the Giants travelling cross-country after a huge road victory against their biggest rival. However, the Cardinals are not a good football team. They barely survived Cam Newton in Week 1, narrowly lost to the Skins in Week 2, and lost in Seattle last week. With Beanie Wells listed as a GTD (fantasy football kryptonite), Larry Fitzgerald is their only threat. Assuming the Giants double him all game – and there’s no reason not to – they should be able to leave the desert victorious.

Chargers -7: San Diego let Kansas City hang around for way too long last week. If the Chiefs had one of the top 28 quarterbacks in the league, they probably win that game. Luckily for the Chargers, they don’t and Matt Cassel played like himself in the fourth quarter. Despite the win, the Bolts have to be a little embarrassed that they only won by three despite being 15-point favorites. I think they come out on a mission this week and dominate.

Always tough betting on this guy

Packers -13.5: Aaron Rodgers is going to pick this secondary apart all day long. This should be over in the first quarter.

Record: 3-5-1

Week 2: Jets Recap / It Must Suck

This week’s Jets game was about as boring (in a good way since the game was never in any doubt) as I can remember.

Luke McCown might as well have been wearing a throwback Titans jersey because he was the best player on the field for the Jets. Four interceptions in three quarters. Really appreciate it, Luke.

So instead of an in-depth NYJ recap, let’s try something new called “It Must Suck...”:

-It must suck ... to be a Chargers special teamer. Adam Schefter tweeted this tidbit over the weekend.

That's 21+ straight games without a miss. If it were any other team besides the Chargers, I'd chalk it up to bad luck. In this case, it must be Norv Turner's fault.

-It must suck ... to be a Panthers linebacker. First it was Jon Beason (torn Achilles), now, Thomas Davis tears an ACL for the THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR.

Unreal.

-It must suck ... rooting for the Bengals. At least, I imagine it would, and I couldn’t find any of their fans to disprove this theory, meaning it must be true. Good luck with Andy Dalton for the next few years.

-It must suck ... actually it definitely sucks that Jason Hill wasn't “healthy” enough to back up his smack talk this weekend against Darrelle Revis.

There's a 100% chance Hill would have been shut down if he did play. Man up, Jason Hill - whoever the hell you are. If you talk smack, at least play.

-It must suck ... to be LB Lofa Tatupu. Why is this guy a free agent? The whole NFC East can use a former Pro Bowl linebacker. Is it roids? Did he age that quickly? Did all teams lose his numbers? Someone sign this guy.

**************************************************

One more quick Jets thing. As a fan, I think it is incredibly dumb to have Antonio Cromartie play offense. They have four running backs and five wide receivers on the roster, and they ask AC to play offense AND run back kicks? That's just begging for something bad to happen. Please end it, Rex.

Sucker Free Sunday: Week 2 LOCKS

The Chiefs fucked me so bad last week I should get 2 losses, but I don't HA - So I went 2-1 last week. I'll take that on my LOCKS. Now time to look at some Week 2 LOCKS! WOOOOO!

Oakland +3

I have no idea how Buffalo wins one game and now they're favorites? When was the last time they were favorites in a game? Hosting a team that just worked a division opponent on the road. Darren McFadden is going to run wild on the Bills, it's going to be epic. I say he goes over 150, at least 2 touches. Since I have Michael Bush on my fantasy team he obviously isn't going to do shit, it will be DMC all day err day. Raiders pass D is a lot better than the Chiefs, and Fitzpatrick comes back to earth this Sunday.

New England -7

Philip Rivers can't beat the Patriots, just can't do it. Including postseason he's 1-4 with a 78.4 rating against them. Plus, did anyone else catch a pass from Tom Brady last weekend? Guy just told all of New England to show up hammered drunk and rowdy as shit for their home opener. With that going on behind him, he might put up 600 yards and Gronk will have 2 scores. This will be a barn burner but New England will put up most of those points.

Pittsburgh -14

I usually stay away from spreads this big, that's what she said, but Pitt is coming off an embarrassing loss to Baltimore last week in which they made 7 turnovers and Hines Ward got fucking laid out. You don't think they're going to come out a little pissed off?? Seattle is still rebuilding and they have no idea what they're walking into at Heinz field. Crowd will be nuts and the Steelers will be fired up. This should be a blowout.