Twiglight Zone: Tim McGarver Is Being Recognized By The Baseball Hall Of Fame For Broadcast Excellence

Have you ever heard anything so out of this world? Anyone who's watched baseball at some point in their lives have had to put up with this fucking idiot on a broadcast - I've literally muted the TV and put on the radio to listen to Suzyn Waldman before, that should put into perspective what I'm talking about. My biggest gripe with McCarver is that he talks to talk. I know people who have issues with Joe Buck, I don't. He shuts up when nothing needs to be said, he's quick, says what he needs to, then stops. McCarver on the other hand loves to just vomit shit right into the microphone almost like he's guaranteed not to face any repercussion of any kind. He constantly gives the wrong information, wrong quotes, and pronounces names and even teams incorrectly. My biggest issue is the pitch "guessing". Unlike umpires and players that see the pitch in real time and still can accurately tell you what was thrown, McCarver has the benefit of "SUPER SLO-MO REPLAY" and countless angles, but will STILL tell the viewing audience that the 12-6 78-mph curveball was a two-seam fastball. And he won't stop. He's one of those people who, if he's caught lying, will lie even more to get out of the other lie. He'll either be told he's wrong or realize it, but will just carry on about the same pitch like he was 100% correct when the replays are looping the same curveball dropping into the dirt 8 times in a row while he compliments Sabathia on his great two-seam movement. This guy being recognized by the Hall of Fame makes me feel how Rudy's brothers felt when he made the Notre Dame Football team: "If you are a part of that team, then my opinion of The Hall of Fame just hit the shits."

Bobby Valentine Says He Hates The Yankees. Yawn.





ESPN -- Not wasting a moment to spice up the rivalry, new Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine declared Wednesday how he feels about the New York Yankees. "I hate the Yankees," Valentine said while surrounded by a herd of media members at the Winter Meetings. "I don't want to waste this valuable time talking about the Yankees. This is too valuable." On Tuesday, Yankees manager Joe Girardi was asked what Valentine's presence would mean to the rivalry and was a little more diplomatic. "Bobby adds some spunk to his clubs," Girardi said. "No doubt about it. I didn't get to witness him first-hand a lot. But Bobby's been successful wherever he has went. It should be exciting." According to one major league public relations official, the media pack around Valentine was the largest one they had ever had for one of these sessions. Valentine's force of personality is one of the things he brings to the rivalry, making it different than when Terry Francona was the Red Sox manager. Valentine always makes people pay attention. He has already started the countdown to when the two teams first meet in the regular season, Friday, April 20, at Fenway Park.

You know what, Bobby? Learn to talk about the Yankees, they're the division champs - you're going to have to deal with them a little bit here and there, gonna be a lot a questions all season about if you're ever going to catch them in the standings. I'm so bored with this because it's so predictable, just typical Red Sox playbook. Immediately try and insult the Yankees, the classiest and greatest winning organization in sports history. Love the hiring of the biggest name out there even if all your players fucking hate him, why should they be happy anyway they're just the ones who do all the work and the same ones you depend on to win you games, no big deal. Hire a guy who's such a great manager that he spent the last decade in Japan and working for ESPN because he couldn't find work in the Major Leagues. 2012 should be fun. Way to try and fit in, Bob, the "I hate the Yankees" line is so fake and scripted at this point it doesn't even matter. It's like breathing in that city, people say that shit when they wake up. I don't even blame them - 27 World Series in NY and about the same number of epic fail collapses in Boston. I'd probably be waking up saying "I hate the Yankees - Ughhh what time is it I don't wanna go to school". It's like an involuntary twitch up there.

PS - Love how he has a countdown to the first time they play NY, meanwhile the Yankees are counting down to opening day in Tampa against the real AL East competition and focused on defending their AL East Division Title.

Ever See A Little Asian Dude Shit His Pants?

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TONY BATISTA'S STILL GOT IT! If anyone wanted ever doubted the United States still owned the earth and thought maybe Japan had caught up and taken over can remove all doubt right now. I can't think of anything more respectful than someone doing a 180 and sprinting the other way when you charge at them. That was such a fucking boss move I can't even stand it, my jaw dropped to the floor. Not so much even the guy running away, but the fact Batista was able to keep a stone cold straight face the entire time. The jog to first, and while he was standing there with everyone laughing including the pitcher, both benches, the guys teammates in the field, the fucking announcers. Everyone was just speechless. If I'm the Yankees I'm signing Tony Batista immediately. Can't teach that kind of presence on the field.

Soccer Has Officially Passed Tennis On Every Respect Scale On Earth And Probably Other Planets Too

NY Times - Mixed doubles was front and center at Arthur Ashe Stadium one afternoon last week. Not on the court, where a United States Open women’s singles match was being played, but in a midlevel suite where two men and two women, drinks in hand and backs to the court, carried on as if they were at a cocktail mixer.

On one point, their peals of laughter caused the server to catch her toss and the chair umpire to call for silence. The suite holders were so oblivious, they did not know the scolding was directed at them. The match ended, and they kept talking.

“I always say that a big part of the stadium probably has never seen a tennis match in their life,” said Maria Sharapova, the 2006 champion. “They go out there, and for them, it’s like a party.”

The match marred by the suite talk did not seem to surprise Sharapova. “Drinking early,” she said, deadpan. “This is not like a baseball game or a soccer game where you just talk and yell and scream and don’t even watch half the game,” she said. “It’s quite different.”

Tennis players are like theater performers. Both require silence so they can hear their cues; in the players’ case, that would be the sound of the ball coming off their opponents’ rackets. And on each stage, longstanding etiquette calls for no flash photography, ringing cellphones, audience chatter or crowd movement, any of which can distract the performers and throw them off.

Is this a joke? Do Tennis players ever want people to show up and watch them play? Is their goal to literally end the sport altogether? CROWD MOVEMENT?! You want 25,000 people to sit there and not scratch their balls once for your stupid 4 hour match while they bake in the sun?? Get some cardboard cut outs and litter the stadium with them. That's obviously what these players want. I really don't get this - when I played baseball in college we would fucking love when people came down to games and went nuts, noise equals adrenaline. There was so much beer and liquor being passed around the stands it was great, people having a great time - talking shit - making out while we were crushing our opponent. It was a great time for everyone. All I ever wanted to do was play a game in front of 50 thousand screaming asshole fans. What did Jeter say? "I'd rather win on the road where people are booing us and hating us" because when you win and shove it up their ass there's nothing better than telling them to shut the fuck up and go home! Ask Jordan about that game winner he hit on the road in Utah - pretty sure he'll tell you that was the best moment of his career, silencing 30,000 screaming haters with one shot.

Why the fuck do tennis players need silence?? To hit a ball they self toss to themselves?? How about when Robinson Cano steps in the box against Justin Verlander and has to see a baseball coming out of his hand at 99mph with over 50,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs, see rotation, figure out the pitch type, location, and make solid contact like drilling it 420 feet to right center? I'd say that's a tad bit harder than hitting a straight tennis ball with a racket bigger than your fucking head. Who do tennis players think they are? They demand quiet. What world are we living in? Where loser tennis players tell us normal folk how to live our life so they can whine and complain about us taking their picture even though we probably didn't want it anyway - probably more along the lines of posting it to Facebook just to caption it with "Look how close I am to this asshole tennis player, don't even know his name or why I'm here I could honestly care less but I got these tickets for free from a friend of a friends boss who didn't want them" just to piss off the 1 Facebook friend who's obsessed with tennis and will probably cry and pull a hamstring when they see it on their news feed.



And what kind of balls on Sharapova, huh? "It's quite different." What a smug little bitch. Don't ever talk about the game of baseball like tennis has any superiority to it. Damn you for making me hate you because you are really hot and we would make amazing babies together considering you're an inch taller than me, wait what?