Friday, July 27, 2012

11 Month Pregnant Olympic "Athlete" No Big Deal

No seriously, that's her. PS - what the HELL is in the background?

Malaysia's pregnant shooter, Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi, has made the trip to London and will compete in next week's 10m rifle event, just one month before she's due to give birth to a baby girl. Doctors say Nur Suryani is fine to compete. In a sport that requires precision, calm and concentration, how will Nur Suryani compete with a child moving around her womb? "I will talk to the baby before I compete," she said in April. "[I'll say] no kicking, stay calm for one hour and 15 minutes only please." She understands that some may criticize her Olympic quest but isn't fazed by it. "Most people said I was crazy and selfish because they think I am jeopardizing my baby's health," she told reporters. "My husband said grab it as this is a rare chance which may not come again. Also, I am the mother. I know what I can do. I am a stubborn person." Nur Suryani is the 47th-ranked shooter in the world and a long shot for a medal. She also qualified for the 50m rifle competition but can't compete in it for obvious reasons.

I wish they'd elaborate on what the "obvious reasons" are. Because I'm pretty sure being pregnant obviously disqualifies you from competing in the Olympics. Every other "athlete" in this event is obviously pissed, because now people say "athlete" in quotes because obviously this isn't a very athletic "sport" when huge pregnant bitches can just stroll in and try and win some medals.

Seriously though, you're 47th in the world? But it's okay you know what you can do because you're the stubborn mother? Okay, so go ahead, pass Go collect $200 do your thing. But give credit where credit is due - anyone who can just command a newborn baby to stay calm for precisely an hour and 15 minutes when the kid isn't even really alive yet is pretty outstanding stuff.

PS - I hope they televise this event, and I hope this baby waits until her finger is on the trigger to unleash a fucking roundhouse on her kidney and an errant rifle blast goes rogue. Talk about television!

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