Sucker Free Sunday: Week 4 LOCKS

Cincinnati -1 @ Jacksonville - I picked this same game Week 5 last season, basically all the Bengals had to do was take care of MJD and they would be fine. They did that, they won by 10. Really not a whole lot has changed since then, the only offense they have runs through MJD. Bengals should have a pretty good idea on a game plan headed into this one.

NY Giants +1 @ Philadelphia - I hate that I keep picking road teams, but the Giants simply don't play the Eagles well at home - the only times they beat them is in Philadelphia so this seems like a no brainer. LeSean McCoy has started talking again and all he did was probably fire the Giants defense up. I'm sure the offense with 12 turnovers in the first three games really needed to do that.

Atlanta -7 vs. Carolina - Not sure if anyone remembers what the Giants just did to Carolina minus three key offensive starters... If you didn't see it just look at the final score (36-7) and that should tell you about all you need to know. Atlanta, by the way, is not down three key offensive starters and they look downright scary on offense. Carolina might score some points (I don't think their offense is as terrible as it looked last Thursday night) but I really don't see them keeping up with Atlanta in the dome. If the world makes any sense, Atlanta should win this game by two touchdowns.



Wild Card Pick:

St. Louis +3 vs. Seattle - Short week for Seattle, not to mention the insane MNF Massacre they were directly involved in, that shouldn't have created any distractions for the team or anything. They're only trying to prepare, practice, travel and game plan on a short week with interviews about if they won last weeks game or not. I also like St. Louis at home, think they're a tougher defensive team than many give them credit for. I really just don't see Seattle fully focused while trying to plan and play week 4 with their head turned around wondering if they really won week 3. Has upset written all over it.

Week 13 Picks: Almost Back to .500 (@mspici)

Browns +7

Bengals +7: I like them to win this game outright.

Chargers -1.5: Same pattern every year- lose enough to get Norv Turner on the hot seat, win like crazy in the second half of the season.


Record: 16-17-3

Jerome Simpson Channeling His Inner Reggie Miller

This is why Cincinnati is able to pull out tough games against the Cleveland Browns. Everyone else is busy jumping in that gayball pile, Jerome Simpson is busy taking cheap shots all over the place. I don't see anyone else laying their body on the line like that for their team. Thank God the referee was busy not looking or else he might have thrown that flag based on pure fan reaction.

Sucker Free Sunday: Week 9 LOCKS

Fuck this shit. I'm sick of this crap that's been going on the last couple weeks. Jaguars thinking they can even compete with the Ravens, shit is fucking sickening. Enough of this shit. I'm going 3-0 this week like a motherfucker. Let's go.

NY Giants +9 - Like I mentioned earlier - the Giants are a bad matchup for the Patriots. I don't like Brady and his nonchalant style in the pocket against this pass rush. That said, it could be one of two games. The Patriots come out and rip through the Giants poor rushing defense with another guy no one has heard of, or they try to shoot it out. Unfortunately for Brady, he's not playing Mark Sanchez this week, he's playing fellow MVP candidate Eli Manning and he's throwing against your 32nd ranked pass defense. I would love for this game to turn into a shootout, if it does, Giants should hang and stay close and possibly steal the game in Foxboro.

San Francisco -3.5 - I don't know if anyone knows this.... But I love Patrick Willis, which means I love San Francisco. I also hate the Redskins. John Beck vs. Patrick Willis? Yeah right. Like that's a question. Cannot believe this is only a 3 point spread. I'm all over SF here, their defense will put up more points than the Redskins offense.

Cincinnati +3 - I feel like I say this every week about the Bengals but here it goes again.... I don't get this spread. I guess the Titans are okay, but really? Chris Johnson even playing? Believe it or not, the Bengals own the 4th ranked overall defense. 2nd in the NFL against the run. Good luck getting back on track this week CJ. I love the combination of Andy Dalton to AJ Green, they look like they've been playing together for years. I like the matchup for the Bengals, they should win this game straight up.

2011 Record 13-9-2 (WC; 2-6)


Wild Card picks which I'm obviously awful at, record is 2-6 since starting these.... I don't know why I'm even still doing it, but here we go - two more games:

St. Louis +3 - Arizona is starting John Skelton.... From Fordham.... Whatever, they just shouldn't beat anyone with Skelton on the field - that is if the Earth is still spinning on its axis and everything made sense.

Baltimore +3 - I've been arguing constantly with Galt about this all week, I just can't see his reasoning how Pittsburgh has such a good chance to win this game. Baltimore has the #1 defense in the NFL and already bent the Steelers over 35-7 earlier this year. I love the Ravens in this game, I think they're a better team. Even if they haven't been playing well on the road, I don't care - shit like that doesn't matter when these two teams play each other. I expect it to stay close.

Sucker Free Sunday: Week 5 LOCKS

Had a good week last week even if I threw in a weird call about the Dolphins, didn't feel like going 3-0 obviously - when shit gets too easy I tend to lose my interest so I was just keeping myself on my toes. Couple games I really like this week so let's get right to it:

Bengals +2.5 - Not sure I completely understand this spread.. Basically saying the Bengals are just a half point better than Jacksonville.... I actually respect the Bengals who have been playing pretty good this season, and I think the Jags might be one of the worst teams in the NFL. If not for MJD they're right in the thick of the Andrew Luck race that has taken over the bottom of the NFL ranks. Apparently they don't need him because they have Sunshine at QB but I guess they don't notice he's not going to do much for them this year. The Bengals held Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller to only 78 yards last week in a big win over the Bills, I see them handling MJD long enough to get themselves in position to win this game. I like the Bengals S/U so them getting points is music to these ears. Bengals by 10.



Giants -9.5 - I've said before I normally try and stay away from large spreads like this (that's what she said) but this includes a west coast team traveling east. On top of that they play the early game on Sunday. That's just pure hell. On top of that, it's the Seattle Seahawks. That's hell inside of hell. Add to that Tarvaris Jackson is the QB - Can this get any worse? Yes.... Then add to that the fact that the Seahawks are 13-32 ATS on the road since 2006. That's what I love to call a LOCK! Only thing that scares me, Tuck and Jacobs likely not to play - what helps me rest easy is I actually like DJ Ware and hope he gets a lot of touches behind Bradshaw in this game. I like Eli staying hot and going for 275 yards, couple scores and they win it 31-13.



"Yeah keep that helmet on 'cause I just embarrassed you, bro!"



Packers -6 - I just used the word bro because I feel like Aaron Rodgers would say that, anyway.... Is this a joke?? The Packers by 6? Um did anyone see what happened last year when these two met in the playoffs? 48-21, the Packers raped the Falcons when the Falcons were the #1 team in the NFC. Newsflash bro, Packers are 10x healthier and 100x better. Falcons fucking suck. There's just no reason this spread isn't -100. If the Packers play 50% they should cover this, and as long as Devin Hester isn't around to completely juke the shit out of their entire special teams unit, they should be fine. Packers 30-15 ATS on the road under McCarthy? Okay, Rodgers goes for 325 and 3 TD's and Packers get the W by two scores. Clay Matthews two sacks and a forced fumble and/or fumble recovery.

*Honorable mentions: Raiders +6 @ Texans, Titans +3.5 @ Steelers

2011 Record: 8-3-1

*Not going to do this every week but those are two more games I'm thinking about getting involved with this weekend.

Houston is looking good, but looked shaky without Andre Johnson in the second half of that Steelers game and they'll be without him for 3-4 weeks. I love DMC and think he's the best RB in this game. He will get a ton of touches which will result in a ton of yards. He will single handedly keep the Raiders close, if Jason Campbell can be mistake free they'll have a chance to steal one in Houston.

Steelers on the other hand, look like shit and there QB was in a boot all week - he'll be behind a terrible offensive line and going against a defense who can get hits on the QB. They're also 25th in the league against the run believe it or not and Chris Johnson is coming to town off of his first 100 yard game of the season and is looking to keep it going. That should help the already surprising Matt Hasselbeck be more comfortable in the pocket against a Steelers team who is unusually struggling getting to the QB this year. Outside of their Seahawks blowout, they have 2 sacks this year. Nuts. I like both these games but the other three jumped out a little bit more to me. Consider these as well... At your own risk.

Cincinnati Bengals Have A Player Arrested - World Finally Making Sense Again

Shut Down Corner - A 2.5-pound shipment of marijuana was seized at the home of Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Jerome Simpson(notes) on Wednesday.

Bengals tackle Anthony Collins(notes) was with Simpson at the Crestview Hills, Ky., house when police confiscated the package. A spokeswoman for the California Department of Justice said police tracked the shipment from California after a two-day investigation.

A woman, Aleen Smith, signed for the package before police swooped in. Simpson gave consent for authorities to search his home, where they found six additional pounds of marijuana and paraphernalia including "packaging materials, scales and smoking devices."

Simpson and Collins were detained but not arrested. The case will be addressed by the Kenton County (Ky.) Prosecutor's Office on Thursday.

The head of the National Marijuana Initiative, a government-funded organization that coordinates marijuana enforcement, told Californiawatch.org that the home was set up as a distribution network.

"They had it all set up to receive supplies of high-grade marijuana from Northern California, and from there, it was being distributed from that residence," Tommy LaNier told the website.

Wait. Why is this news? Don't they know Simpson is just doing what he has to do? He plays for the fucking Bengals. You need a felony wrap sheet before you can sign with the team, it's mandatory. That's why Carson Palmer was forced into early retirement and that's why in a couple weeks we'll be hearing how Andy Dalton slapped a couple strippers around then pissed on them. That's how the Bengals roll. They have nothing to offer on the field so they're playing that whole intimidation game by lining up an entire roster of parolees.

No fucking joke, since 2000 - 35 players have been arrested from the Bengals. That is fucking impressive. Jerome, real glad I didn't take a chance on you on the waiver wire, this would've been a real waste of the #1 waiver position. Can never trust these Bengals, just can't do it. That's why I'm taking San Francisco this weekend, how the hell are they underdogs to this team?

Week 2: Jets Recap / It Must Suck

This week’s Jets game was about as boring (in a good way since the game was never in any doubt) as I can remember.

Luke McCown might as well have been wearing a throwback Titans jersey because he was the best player on the field for the Jets. Four interceptions in three quarters. Really appreciate it, Luke.

So instead of an in-depth NYJ recap, let’s try something new called “It Must Suck...”:

-It must suck ... to be a Chargers special teamer. Adam Schefter tweeted this tidbit over the weekend.

That's 21+ straight games without a miss. If it were any other team besides the Chargers, I'd chalk it up to bad luck. In this case, it must be Norv Turner's fault.

-It must suck ... to be a Panthers linebacker. First it was Jon Beason (torn Achilles), now, Thomas Davis tears an ACL for the THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR.

Unreal.

-It must suck ... rooting for the Bengals. At least, I imagine it would, and I couldn’t find any of their fans to disprove this theory, meaning it must be true. Good luck with Andy Dalton for the next few years.

-It must suck ... actually it definitely sucks that Jason Hill wasn't “healthy” enough to back up his smack talk this weekend against Darrelle Revis.

There's a 100% chance Hill would have been shut down if he did play. Man up, Jason Hill - whoever the hell you are. If you talk smack, at least play.

-It must suck ... to be LB Lofa Tatupu. Why is this guy a free agent? The whole NFC East can use a former Pro Bowl linebacker. Is it roids? Did he age that quickly? Did all teams lose his numbers? Someone sign this guy.

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One more quick Jets thing. As a fan, I think it is incredibly dumb to have Antonio Cromartie play offense. They have four running backs and five wide receivers on the roster, and they ask AC to play offense AND run back kicks? That's just begging for something bad to happen. Please end it, Rex.

Week 2: Stone Cold Locks

After an ugly Week One (0-2-1), I'm trying to get back on the right track.

Jaguars +9: The Jets looked shaky at home in Week 1, albeit against an opponent that will make the playoffs when all is said and done. Somehow, the Jags were able to beat the Titans with Luke McCown at the helm. Their D looked solid, and MJD looked healthy. This Jets team is going to win a lot of defensive battles, and I think this one stays close throughout.

Colts +2.5: The Cleveland Browns are road favorites in this game. The Cleveland Browns are road favorites in this game. The Cleveland Browns are road favorites in this game. The Cleveland Browns are road favorites in this game.

Bengals +4: The Bengals proved last week they won’t be intimidated on the road against teams that absolutely suck. Cedric Benson’s line on Sunday will probably look something like this: 44 carries, 98 yards, 2 touchdowns. It’s never pretty when we are talking about the Bengals, but against the Broncos, you don’t need much to win.

Speaking of not pretty, the Bengals starting tandem of Benson and QB Andy Dalton has to rank second on the ugliest backfield list (behind Marshawn Lynch + any QB in the league).

Lynch and Benson: neither models, nor model citizens.

Guess We Can Credit Teddy Roosevelt For Saving Football

SmartFootball.com -

[Roosevelt] convened a White House summit with football’s leading coaches and thinkers; even Elihu Root, the secretary of state, attended. Miller argues that this was the moment when Roosevelt put his stamp on the sport by imploring the men to crack down on dirty play and reform the way the game was coached. With Roosevelt’s encouragement, Miller says, a series of rules changes was set in motion — among them, increasing the number of referees and strengthening penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct — that ultimately quieted the critics enough to allow the colleges to play on.

Okay so apparently Teddy Roosevelt carried a big stick and went to battle with everyone on the planet just dominating other countries leading the USA to a #1 world ranking, but couldn't take watching guys tackle each other on a field of competition? Doubt it. There was obviously some chick he was trying to bang so he tested out this sensitive guy move and I'd say there's no doubt about it that he sealed the deal. Seriously though, has anyone ever seen highlights of football in the 50's, 60's and 70's? It was like jailyard "if you're not dead it's not a penalty" type of shit. Dick Butkus straight up ripping peoples heads off for trying to gain yardage. The Raiders were pretty much like the Bengals of today except they commited their crimes on the field in front of 60,000 witnesses but instead of jail they went to the Hall of Fame. So my immediate thought was - how fucking bad must it have been if football had to be "saved" when Teddy Roosevelt was still around? Did they carry weapons, too? Because Teddy was no pussy, if he said it was rough - I've got to believe it was pretty rough. Oyster Bay don't breed no liars.

Terrelle Pryor Needs Permission to Play in the NFL?

Anyone else find this ridiculous that Terrelle Pryor has to set up meetings and talk to officials to see if he's allowed to play in the NFL? Where am I living? Why can't he just play? Donte Stallworth can kill people and come right back into the league, Pacman Jones can get arrested 93 times and still play, but this guy can't try and make some money in college or he's blacklisted to the NFL?? Is this a joke? This is almost as bad as Congress getting involved in the integrity of Major League Baseball talk - stay out of it, who cares?! Aren't there more important issues to worry about? Let this guy go into the supplemental draft, if a team wants him then they can have him - I really don't think it's going to be a problem. I just listened to Chris Mortensen explain the situation, and I'm sure his knowledge is spot on, but this shit makes no sense. I don't even really like Pryor or think he's going to be good at all in the NFL - but if murders, drug dealers and the Cincinnati Bengals can play in the league then Pryor should be able to play. Plain and simple.