Bobby Valentine Says He Hates The Yankees. Yawn.





ESPN -- Not wasting a moment to spice up the rivalry, new Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine declared Wednesday how he feels about the New York Yankees. "I hate the Yankees," Valentine said while surrounded by a herd of media members at the Winter Meetings. "I don't want to waste this valuable time talking about the Yankees. This is too valuable." On Tuesday, Yankees manager Joe Girardi was asked what Valentine's presence would mean to the rivalry and was a little more diplomatic. "Bobby adds some spunk to his clubs," Girardi said. "No doubt about it. I didn't get to witness him first-hand a lot. But Bobby's been successful wherever he has went. It should be exciting." According to one major league public relations official, the media pack around Valentine was the largest one they had ever had for one of these sessions. Valentine's force of personality is one of the things he brings to the rivalry, making it different than when Terry Francona was the Red Sox manager. Valentine always makes people pay attention. He has already started the countdown to when the two teams first meet in the regular season, Friday, April 20, at Fenway Park.

You know what, Bobby? Learn to talk about the Yankees, they're the division champs - you're going to have to deal with them a little bit here and there, gonna be a lot a questions all season about if you're ever going to catch them in the standings. I'm so bored with this because it's so predictable, just typical Red Sox playbook. Immediately try and insult the Yankees, the classiest and greatest winning organization in sports history. Love the hiring of the biggest name out there even if all your players fucking hate him, why should they be happy anyway they're just the ones who do all the work and the same ones you depend on to win you games, no big deal. Hire a guy who's such a great manager that he spent the last decade in Japan and working for ESPN because he couldn't find work in the Major Leagues. 2012 should be fun. Way to try and fit in, Bob, the "I hate the Yankees" line is so fake and scripted at this point it doesn't even matter. It's like breathing in that city, people say that shit when they wake up. I don't even blame them - 27 World Series in NY and about the same number of epic fail collapses in Boston. I'd probably be waking up saying "I hate the Yankees - Ughhh what time is it I don't wanna go to school". It's like an involuntary twitch up there.

PS - Love how he has a countdown to the first time they play NY, meanwhile the Yankees are counting down to opening day in Tampa against the real AL East competition and focused on defending their AL East Division Title.

How Fucked Are The Red Sox?

Sure when you collapse worse than anyone in Major League history, someone has to take the blame, but I'll tell you what - when that guy is the only manager to win you a World Series in a billion years - find someone the fuck else to blame. No way this guy deserves to be fired in my opinion. Guy should get the respect to leave on his own terms for services past rendered. It's not like they wouldn't win with him in the saddle next year, but now I'm really wondering how bad this team will be without him there.

As a Yankees fan I was spoiled growing up with Joe Torre as the manager. Was always cool under pressure, even keeled, calm, respectful, fired up when he needed to be. Same goes for Francona in my opinion. I hated the Red Sox with all I had, but always respected (most of) them. Francona ran that team the right way, he gave them slack at times but always knew when to pull the reigns. He had to manage absolute clowns like Manny Ramirez, Kevin Millar, Byung-Hyun Kim, Pedro Martinez, just a bunch of look-at-me guys - and he won. He was able to put a tent on the circus and win an impossible championship, and he did it twice. There's always hatred in the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry and fans say a lot of shit, but real fans will always have a certain level of respect for an opponent and I have the utmost for Francona. Guy was always good with the media, handled winning and losing well, just seemed like a good guy - I never looked at him like I would look at Manny - that he's good but wouldn't want him to be a Yankee. I'd take Francona in a heartbeat to be the manager of the Yankees. I'm glad they lost in absolutely epic fashion, but I wish Francona the best and hope he has success where ever he ends up - and whatever team that is will be lucky to have him.

Theo Epstein should fire himself, would be the best move he made this year.

Reaction To Twitter Reactions About Last Night

Actually didn't know that. But wait, what about Joe Carter? Aaron Boon? I'm guessing he means clinching a postseason spot..

That's right.

Does Perdroia know how many games are in a MLB season? I thought at first maybe he was on the DL this year and he was trying to be precise, no he played in 159 out of the standard 162 games - must've been the emotions of being part of the biggest choke in sports history getting the best of him.

Papelbon, I see what you're doing - saying fatigue is an issue is looking for an excuse.... But then saying everyone is fatigued. Okay.

Crawford, whether your team made the playoffs or not, you didn't help. You would've felt shitty either way so don't worry about it.

Good call with Papelbon DEALING. Maybe a little early for that tweet, though, your boy Pap pretty much vomitted on the mound right after you posted that.

Can't argue with the Crawford thing, though. Pretty accurate I'd assume.

Last Day Of The MLB Season Was Better Than The Playoffs Could Ever Dream Of Being

I don't know really how to put into perspective what happened last night. But I'll try....

There are a ton of collapses we could look at, so we're going to do that and see if we can try and compute in our heads how rare, insane and incredible last night was when looking at the history of Major League Baseball. Plenty of people have "collapses" ranked, but I don't see them ranked correctly whatsoever so I'm going to put mine up here. I'm going to stick to straight September collapses, because they're definitely the best.

5 - The 1987 Toronto Blue Jays. Toronto held a 3.5 game lead on the second to last Sunday of the season and were up 1-0 in the ninth inning on the Detroit Tigers. Detroit tied the game (Kirk Gibson homered of course) and ended up winning in 13. The Blue Jays tanked and lost every single game the rest of the year. Detroit swept them to end the season with three straight 1-run victories. Toronto finished 2 games back. I don't know about you, but that has to be one of the most demoralizing collapses ever. Losing by 1 run three straight times to get knocked out of the playoffs is cruel.

4 - The 2009 Detroit Tigers. Detroit held first place in the division from May 10th until the end of the season. They held a 3 game lead over the Minnesota Twins with 4 games to play. They lost to the Twins then lost two out of three to the White Sox to end the season. They had a one game playoff against the Twins in Minnesota which the Twins won in 12 innings in an absolute classic game to complete the epic collapse. The Tigers are the only team in history to blow a 3 game lead with 4 left to play.

3 - The 2007 New York Mets. The Mets led by 7 games on September 12th. A roller coaster ensued with the Mets losing five in a row, winning 4 out of 5, then losing their last 6 out of 7 games to finish one game behind the Phillies. The back breaker was on the final day of the season, when Tom Glavine came out and gave a clutch performance against the Marlins by giving up 7 earned runs in one-third of an inning.

2 - The 1964 Philadelphia Phillies. The ultimate collapse in the sports history belongs to the 1964 Phillies. They were the gold standard for this type of scenario, here's what theirs looked like: Phillies were in 1st place by 6.5 games with 12 games remaining. They lost their next 10 games and finished in a tie for second place in the National League, the Cardinals swept them in a crucial three game series, took over first place and eventually won the World Series.

With all those being brought to light, and you having them fresh in your mind - we witness two teams fall apart even worse within the last 4 weeks of this season.

1a - The 2011 Atlanta Braves. The Braves were 8.5 games up on the St. Louis Cardinals on September 6th. They were swept by the Cardinals in St. Louis which didn't seem like much at the time. Last Friday, on September 23rd, with a win over the Nationals the Braves were still up 3 games with only 5 to go. They lost all five, and were beat by the Phillies in 13 innings last night to knock them out of the playoffs. More than likely done in by the Joe Torre method of using your relievers every single game of the season, the bullpen was the main cause of this collapse, strong all season - but couldn't finish a game when it mattered most, blowing a 9th inning lead again in the last game of the season.

1 - The 2011 Boston Red Sox. Nothing really gives me more joy than writing this little recap. Maybe the curse is back? The Red Sox, in the race for the division, took 2 out of 3 from the Yankees and actually led on September 1st by half a game. They had a 9 game lead on the Tampa Rays for the Wild Card. They then went 7-19 to finish the season and ended up 7 games back of the Yankees. In September the Red Sox went 1-6 against the Rays and 1-4 against the Yankees. They had a favorable schedule down the stretch with 7 out of their last 10 games against the Orioles, and went 2-5 against them.

It was a collapse unlike baseball has ever seen. And it got two of them, on the same night. The Braves had to go into extra innings, and the Red Sox endured a rain delay - yet, the Braves and Red Sox were both eliminated from the playoffs within 22 minutes of each other. It was a night baseball fans will remember for as long as they live, and they should - because they'll never see anything like it again.

Red Sox Continue To Impress

ESPN - The Red Sox found another way to lose, this time on a broken-bat single and an inside-the-park homer, and their 6-3 defeat against the Baltimore Orioles on Monday night dropped them into a tie in the AL wild-card race.


Boston's 17th loss in 22 games enabled Tampa Bay to pull even in the duel for the league's final playoff spot. The Rays, who beat the New York Yankees 5-2, trailed by nine games after play on Sept. 3.


The Red Sox had either stood atop the AL East or led the wild-card race every day since before play on May 24.

Is there any possible way to put this into perspective? Anyone else realize we're witnessing baseball history here? The 2007 Mets were bad, but this is bad. The Red Sox have lost 19 of their last 25 games, that's fucking impossible. Sure they can still make the playoffs, but what are the odds of that happening? They need to win two in a row and they haven't done that since last month. They were up 9 fucking games on Labor Day and are now tied for the Wild Card. Anyone watching the Yankees/Rays game last night noticed two things - the Yankees don't give a shit and are rolling our all their September call ups and Phil Hughes, and that the Rays just fucking want it. They're busting their ass all over the field just to eek out a win over the AA Yankees. I don't give a shit what scenario is better for the Yankees going into the postseason, I just want to see this collapse be completed. I feel bad for the Mets, kind of need someone to take the title of biggest choke artists of all-time so they can move on with their lives.

John Lackey Sucks Because Of A Text Message

ESPN - Asked by Michael Silverman of the Boston Herald, "How do you think you pitched," Lackey veered off topic in a big way.


"Let me tell you the truth," Lackey said. "Thirty minutes before the game I got a text message on my cell phone from one of you, somebody in the media, talking about personal stuff. I shouldn't even have to be standing up here dealing with it.


"I'm sitting here, listening to music. I don't know who got my phone number, but that's over the line.


Last winter, it was reported that Lackey's wife, Krista, was undergoing treatment for breast cancer, and after a particularly rough start in May, Lackey blurted, "Everything in my life sucks right now."


Before meeting with reporters Sunday night, Lackey had a brief but animated discussion with a club official about the text message and how his phone number had gotten out. There were indications Sunday night that a celebrity/gossip website had sent him the text message, but that could not be confirmed. The website TMZ subsequently published an item about Lackey's marriage on Monday morning at 3:55 a.m. ET.


When asked if he suspected anyone standing in front of him, Lackey said, "I'll find out."


He also was asked if the text message had distracted him on the mound.


"I don't believe I've got to deal with this," he said.


Even after the interview broke up, Lackey continued to rage. "I can't believe … Any of you who would get into that is going to have a serious problem."


What a jerk this guy is. Your team is in the middle of the worst collapse baseball has ever seen and you just scratch and claw your way to a 14 inning win because the Yankees got tired and bored and wanted to sleep before going to Tampa and only thing you can do is talk about yourself. If I'm this ugly asshole the very last thing I'd ever want to do is talk about myself. I'm one of the ugliest humans on earth, I sound like I have phlegm for days and I have an ERA of a bazillion. I feel so fucking sorry for you and your multi million dollar bank account because you're such a sensitive human being and all, you must have it so rough playing baseball for a living. I get a hundred texts a day and none of them make me pitch like shit so I don't wanna hear it.

Yankees Never Wanted Crawford And His 18 Steals, Just Wanted The Red Sox To Pay Out Of Their Ass

ESPN - New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman admitted Thursday that he feigned interest in Carl Crawford last offseason to drive up the price for the Boston Red Sox to sign the free agent.


"I actually had dinner with the agent to pretend that we were actually involved and drive the price up," Cashman said. "The outfield wasn't an area of need, but everybody kept writing Crawford, Crawford, Crawford, Crawford. And I was like, 'I feel like we've got Carl Crawford in Brett Gardner, except he costs more than $100 million less, with less experience.' "


Surprisingly, one could argue that Gardner has had a better season than Crawford. Gardner is batting .261 and leads the league with 46 steals. Crawford never got going in Boston and is hitting .259 with only 18 steals, the fewest he's had since his rookie season.


Going into the season, Cashman said Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, who also landed Adrian Gonzalez, "kicked my a-- in the offseason."


How does he feel now after winning the division?


"What I said was accurate: The Red Sox had a great winter, and I had a bad winter," Cashman said. "But as it turned out, I had a better winter than anybody would've expected, including myself."


And it cost the Red Sox.

Listen, do I think Cashman is being honest here? Absolutely not. But who cares? Shit is hilarious. You wanna talk about playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, look at my man Brian here. I can just see Theo Epstein flinging shit around his office like a little pussy boy about his terrible $142 million dollar purchase. Seriously look at those stats, Brett Gardner playing like a $150 million dollar outfielder just leading the league in steals no big deal. Of course Cashman looks like the genius he is, holding onto our stud catcher who will be in All-Star by next season. We got Nova who can't lose a fucking game if he tried on his way to taking home Rookie of the Year. Cashman will get GM of the year, Girardi manager of the year, and the team will get to take home that gigantic trophy when the World Series ends sometime in the middle of November.

ESPN's "Expert" Predictions For 2011 Were Close - Not.

ESPN Predicts The 2011 Baseball Season

Back on March 30th, ESPN put out a preview of the MLB season, with their entire baseball staff making their predictions for the season. I can try to be funny or make this about how ESPN loves to grind Boston's dick off, but let's just see these results:

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 45 picked Boston to win the AL East (100%)

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 42 picked Boston to reach the World Series (93%)

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 33 picked Boston to win the World Series (73%)

Some fucking imagination ESPN has.

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 0.... THAT'S Z-E-R-O.... picked the Yankees to win the AL East (0%)

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 35 picked the Yankees to win the Wild Card (78%)

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 1.... THAT'S O-N-E.... picked the Yankees to reach the World Series (2%)

Out of 45 "expert" predictions, 0 picked the Yankees to win the World Series (0%)


Read on for the 2011 Results

Red Sox Doing Their Best 2007 Mets Impersonation

ESPN - Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon spends most of his time giving signs.

On Thursday night, he went searching for one.


"You're always looking for signs, man. You're looking for signs from the baseball heaven and the baseball gods," he said after the Rays followed a fluke play with a three-run homer and beat the Boston Red Sox 9-2 to cut their deficit in the AL wild-card race to three games. "They've got to throw you signs once in a while. They've got to give you something to further the belief."


Evan Longoria hit a three-run homer and B.J. Upton and Casey Kotchman each hit two-run shots for Tampa Bay, which had trailed the Red Sox by nine games in the wild-card race on Sept. 3.


The Red Sox dropped to 3-11 in September to fall from first place in the division to 4½ games behind the New York Yankees and into a race with the once-dismissed Rays for the wild-card. Boston and Tampa Bay play three more times at Fenway Park this weekend.


Game notes The Boston fans gave a cheer when former Red Sox star Johnny Damon was hit by a pitch in the sixth. ...


Pretty typical Boston fans, cheering the man who was the main reason they won a World Series. Class acts up there with there frat boy Boston hats, faded t-shirts, flip flops, shitty accents and Sweet Caroline.

But this little slide they're on is pretty funny. Not even a month ago everyone was saying the Yankees would barely get the Wild Card and the Red Sox were World Series bound. Yeah, gonna be tough to make a run at the World Series from your couch. I smell a sweep for the Rays this weekend. The repurcussions of that would be remarkable. I think this would set the franchise back about 100 years if they get swept this weekend and get bounced from the playoffs.

Talk about clutch, 3-11 in September. Pedroia finally lost all of his hair. Guess Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford weren't really smart moves, huh? Spending a bajillion dollars on free agents just to collapse in clutch spots - how's that feel Boston? I'll tell ya what, Yankees would never do something like that.

Odds Red Sox miss the playoffs:

1 star = Damon will switch uniforms and help the Red Sox not suck shit

5 stars = No shot they make it, Rays will sweep them at Fenway and then bang their wives