If Rex Ryan Is Right I Guess The Entire United States Is Wrong

Even if a Jets fan uses the "Well more Giants fans voted wahhhh" excuse, just proves we have better fans.

Rex Ryan Says Jets Are Not The Giants Little Brother. Yawn.

ESPN - Probably trying to divert attention away from his team's awful loss in Philadelphia, New York Jets coach Rex Ryan reached back for some vintage bluster Monday, firing the first shots in this week's Battle of New York. "Quite honestly, I never came here to be little brother to anybody," said Ryan, using a variation of his famous line from 2009 about refusing to kiss Bill Belichick's Super Bowl rings. "I recognize they're an excellent football team," he said, "but I think we're better." The Jets (8-6) didn't resemble anything close to a good football team in their 45-19 loss to the Eagles, but they almost certainly will claim the final wild-card spot in the AFC if they finish with two wins. The Giants (7-7), coming off an ugly loss to the Washington Redskins, are desperate, too, but they win the NFC East with two wins. It sets the stage for the most meaningful regular-season game in the history of the Jets-Giants rivalry, which began in 1970. The teams have met 11 times, with the Giants having won the last four to take a 7-4 advantage.

You know what I think of when I think of a "little brother"? Someone who hasn't gotten laid yet. Your older brother has been swimming in pussy for years trying to teach you along the way, but you can't get past the sniffin' butt stage. Sure you've had some make outs and maybe once or twice you thought you'd seal the deal but last second the girl said "No, you're too ugly" and left you blue balling it up in the back seat. That'd probably be the Jets in the AFC Championship games they love to talk about as if they were Super Bowls. Well the Giants have Conference Championships, but they were never satisfied with those. They actually made it to Super Bowls and won them. When you walk into MetLife Stadium, only one team there has trophies to show off, well I guess the Jets have one, but no one notices the one covered in 42 years worth of dust. The other three are much prettier to look at, especially the most recent. Beating the team no one else in the league could, even when the Jets had 2 shots at them. But we shouldn't talk about the past right? Because Jets fans don't wanna hear about the past, even though they'll immediately jerk off about the two AFC Championship games they lost. But whatever, we'll find out Saturday which shittier 2011 squad is not as shitty - say or feel whatever you want about this game, but make no mistake about it, both these teams suck right now and it's a travesty either one still has a chance to make the playoffs.

What The Hell Was That?

How embarrassing is this to watch? Like my entire face turned red when he made contact with that ball. I think his body language says it all. If you guys can't read body language it says "35-10? Fuck this shit I'm out."

Sucker Free Sunday: Week 12 LOCKS

Alright, last couple weeks haven't gone as planned but lucky for me no one reads this, don't really have strong feelings about this weeks games so just going to wing this shit, here we go:

Carolina -2.5 - Indianapolis is home, that's about all they've got going for them.. They obviously are trying to run the table in the Suck For Luck sweepstakes and Cam Newton should have no problem carving apart their defense. For fantasy purposes I hope all his passes go to Steve Smith for touchdowns.

NY Jets -9.5 - The Bills have fucked me twice this year. Week 1 and last week. They've officially lost Fred Jax for the season who was really their only weapon. Their quarterback is a nerd and they have one of the most overrated WR's in the league, this team is done. Jets actually have a shot to make the playoffs, they'll come out hot. Big things for #25 today playing in place of LT.

New England -3 - This is a joke right? Only 3 point favorites over the biggest fraud of a team in history? The 4-6 Eagles are only 3 point dogs to the New England Patriots.... Okay. I honestly don't know how Vince Young can be so terrible and still have everyone give him credit like he's good at football. Vick is questionable yet this spread is still only 3? So the Pats would only be 6 or 7 point favorites if they were home? But against the 5-2 Giants they were 9.5 point favorites? I'm just confused, tired, partially hungover and flabbergasted this spread is so close I just don't know what to do other than say I'd LOCK THIS SHIT UP!

2011 Record 17-14-2 (WC 4-10)

Wild Card Picks

Denver +6 - Tebow. That's it.

NY Giants +8.5 - Like the offensive matchup, but if the Saints exploit the Giants linebackers this game will be over by the end of the first quarter.

Rex Being Rex

Now I know this happened Sunday, but I can't see this shit at work so I finally found it. It's funnier than I thought it'd be - clear as shit too. Like there's no mistaking he told that guy to shut the fuck up. I figured, ah cell phone camera probably can barely hear a thing, oh no - this was perfect. Fucking awesome, too. Dude it's 13-9, no way you know we're going to get our fucking asses kicked in the second half as Belichick bends me over for 30 minutes straight so shut the fuck up. Classic Rex.

Week 7 Picks: Get It While The Gettin's Good (@MSpici)

Feeling great after my first 3-0 week of the season. Let's keep rolling.

Jets +2: I love this game. Really really love it. Being a home 'dog is a slap in the face no matter whom you are playing. Rex Ryan will use that as motivation. Also working in the Jets' favor is the cross-country trip the Chargers have to make to play the early Sunday game. The Chargers are also coming off a bye, which I think is a bad thing this year since players are mandated to take four consecutive days off in a row. Expectations are low for the Jets (that's when they have thrived under Ryan) and sky-high for the 4-1 Chargers. Look who this team has beaten: Minnesota (1 win on the season), Kansas City (2 wins), Miami (0 wins), and Denver (1 win). That's four combined victories in 21 games. Not impressive at all.

Matchups work in the Jets favor as well: Jets D can contain Chargers O; Jets O can actually score on the Chargers D; Chargers special teams are awful while the Jets special teams have been great.

Love. This. Game.

Gotta think this guy has at least one big special teams play on Sunday.

Panthers -1: John Beck is the starting quarterback of the Washington Redskins this week. No one in the Redskins organization wanted this to happen (including their best WR, Santana Moss). Rex Freakin Grossman beat him out in the preseason. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know, you are not a football fan.

Colts +15.5: Give Indy credit. They are still playing hard. For that reason, I think they will show up in primetime on Sunday Night Football to keep this game interesting. It also helps that anyone can score on the Saints defense.


Record: 10-6-2

Hey Joe Namath, Shut the Fuck Up!

Is there anything more annoying than a retired dude talking shit about his ex-team?

Yes, dudes who retired almost 35(!) years ago talking shit about their ex-teams.

Jets fans will always have a sot spot in their hearts for Broadway Joe because he led the underdogs to a Super Bowl III title. Few fans realize he wasn't actually that great of a quarterback.

Look at his career numbers:

Record: 62-63-4

Playoff Wins: 2 (a number Mark Sanchez surpassed during his second season in the league)

Completion Percentage: 50.1% (I'm not suggesting fat boy was a better quarterback, but JaMarcus Russell - arguably the worst quarterback ever to play in the NFL - had a career completion percentage of 52.1%. Namath only completed a higher percentage of his passes in two out of his 13 seasons. Again, just a frame of reference.)

Passing Touchdowns: 173

Interceptions: 220

Rushing Yards: 140

Fumbles Lost: 33

Now, Namath is spouting some bullshit about the 2011 Jets not being up to snuff. After the Week 3 loss, he ripped Rex Ryan and his coaching style:

Then after the Week 4 loss, he criticized Santonio Holmes and the Jets front office:

Finally (I hope) today, he ripped the team again:

What is the end game here, Joe? You are burning the only bridge you have: Jets fans who have never seen another Super Bowl don't want to hear their team sucks.

The only relevant thing this asshole has done in the last 30+ years is embarrass himself on national television trying unsuccessfully to make out with Suzy Kolber:





No one wants to hear a semi-delusional old man's opinion about the Jets. If we did, we would turn on Mike Francesa on WFAN. Please go back to boozing, and we'll wake you when we need a good laugh.

Week 3: Jets Recap

Final Score: Oakland 34, Jets 24

All you need to know: After falling behind 7-0 three minutes into the game, the Jets jumped to a 17-7 lead by the middle of the second quarter. Oakland, specifically Run DMC, then scored 24 straight points to put the game away.

Darren McFadden puts up video game numbers: McFadden rushed 19 times for 171 yards and two scores. This is a NYJ run defense that has finished in the top for each of the past three seasons.

2008: 7th
2009: 8th
2010: 3rd

They are no slouches, and DMC made them look terrible. Plus, he tweaked his groin in the fourth quarter or the numbers would have been bigger. Guy is an absolute beast.


Dude treated grown men like high schoolers.

Antonio Cromartie wiped out all the good he did in Week 2: He committed four penalties, fumbled a kick return, and got picked apart through the air. F- grade for this one. Needs to improve. He also bruised his ribs/lungs putting next week's game in question for Cro.

Sebastian Janikowski changes games: Oakland HC Hue Jackson knows that if his team can get inside the opponent's 45, he can chalk three points on the board. That makes the Raiders dangerous on all downs and distances in positive territory.

Nick Mangold's injury left a gaping hole in the middle of the offensive line: He needs to get healthy in a hurry.

I'm still not ready to wholeheartedly trust Mark Sanchez: His first quarter INT in the end zone was a terrible, terrible, terrible decision that everyone in New York saw coming. He needs to do a better job protecting the ball. Sanchez also broke his nose in the game.

WR Jeremy Kerley impressed me with his toughness/stupidity: After fielding a punt, Kerley got his helmet knocked off and still tried to gain yardage (even though the play was blown dead). His teammates looked at him like he was insane but you could see they respected the effort.
Losing TE Jeff Cumberland for the year is not a minor deal: JC was a capable run blocker and allowed Dustin Keller to do his thing downfield in the passing game

It doesn't get any easier for the Jets: They travel to Baltimore this week followed by a trip to New England.

Week 2: Jets Recap / It Must Suck

This week’s Jets game was about as boring (in a good way since the game was never in any doubt) as I can remember.

Luke McCown might as well have been wearing a throwback Titans jersey because he was the best player on the field for the Jets. Four interceptions in three quarters. Really appreciate it, Luke.

So instead of an in-depth NYJ recap, let’s try something new called “It Must Suck...”:

-It must suck ... to be a Chargers special teamer. Adam Schefter tweeted this tidbit over the weekend.

That's 21+ straight games without a miss. If it were any other team besides the Chargers, I'd chalk it up to bad luck. In this case, it must be Norv Turner's fault.

-It must suck ... to be a Panthers linebacker. First it was Jon Beason (torn Achilles), now, Thomas Davis tears an ACL for the THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR.

Unreal.

-It must suck ... rooting for the Bengals. At least, I imagine it would, and I couldn’t find any of their fans to disprove this theory, meaning it must be true. Good luck with Andy Dalton for the next few years.

-It must suck ... actually it definitely sucks that Jason Hill wasn't “healthy” enough to back up his smack talk this weekend against Darrelle Revis.

There's a 100% chance Hill would have been shut down if he did play. Man up, Jason Hill - whoever the hell you are. If you talk smack, at least play.

-It must suck ... to be LB Lofa Tatupu. Why is this guy a free agent? The whole NFC East can use a former Pro Bowl linebacker. Is it roids? Did he age that quickly? Did all teams lose his numbers? Someone sign this guy.

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One more quick Jets thing. As a fan, I think it is incredibly dumb to have Antonio Cromartie play offense. They have four running backs and five wide receivers on the roster, and they ask AC to play offense AND run back kicks? That's just begging for something bad to happen. Please end it, Rex.

Luke McCown Had A Good Game - If A QB Rating Of 1.8 Is Good

You gotta feel for Luke McCown here. Probably did nothing this offseason, just kind of lounged around and drank some beers. Typical offseason for a 33-year old back up QB with no chance of seeing the field. When the guy in front of you was given a contract extension through 2014 worth $60 million, you probably don't expect to contribute much to the team. Then all of a sudden when the team inexplicably cuts him a week before the season, the career 2-7 starter who hasn't started an NFL game in 4 years is thrust into the role. "Fuck me" must've been all that went through McCown's mind. I'm sure he went straight to their GM asking "Wait so you're not going out and signing anyone else?? So you're really going to make me start.... Okay, you sure you wanna do this?? Alright, I'll do what I can, don't really remember how to play QB but I'll try."

Seriously, once it was 29-3 in the 3rd quarter, why did they put him back out on the field? I honestly felt bad for him. I don't know how a Pro-Bowl 33-year old starter was cut in favor of an out of shape 33-year old who literally can't play the position. Just an embarrassing move by the Jags here. Blaine Gabbert should've been in the game a lot earlier. Not to mention Luke completely ruined my chances of winning my fantasy week by handing the Jets turnover after turnover while adding a safety to the mix. Thanks a lot dick.

Ouch.



Jerry Jones Is Officially Outside Of His Mind

ESPN - Dallas Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones considered Tony Romo's performance in the season opener "one of the best games I've ever seen him play" despite two critical turnovers late in the loss to the New York Jets.

Romo accepted the blame for the loss -- the first in franchise history after leading by 14 points in the fourth quarter -- after losing a fumble at the Jets' 2-yard line and throwing an interception that set up the game-winning field goal.

How old is this guy? He done running the worst organization in sports yet or what?


I know people want to say The Boss was the most insane owner of all-time, but you know what? The guy flat out wanted to win. He talked shit, he backed it up. In my opinion, he never said anything stupid - there was always a method to his madness. In Jerry Jones' case, there's no such thing as a method.


Guy got rich by striking oil or some shit, he's a fucking idiot who has no clue how to run a professional sports franchise. Sure he can make it profitable, but without sucking so bad that you can draft Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin and Troy Aikman - you don't win the Super Bowls you won.


1988: 3-13, Draft Michael Irvin (Round 1, Pick 11)
1989: 1-15, Draft Troy Aikman (Round 1, Pick 1)
1990: 7-9,   Draft Emmitt Smith (Round 1, Pick 17)
1991: 11-5, Playoffs
1992: 13-3, Super Bowl Champs
1993: 12-4, Super Bowl Champs
1994: 12-4, Playoffs
1995: 12-4, Super Bowl Champs


So thanks to sucking so bad, you drafted 3 Hall of Famers - which doesn't take a genius to do, and your team had some success. All of a sudden this guy is a good owner? When does that stop? How do you not take any heat without winning a playoff game in 13 years OR 1 playoff win in 15 years? (Whichever one looks better) Why are they always Super Bowl favorites?


And Tony Romo is the LeBron James of the NFL. Maybe not as big of a dickhead, I actually think Romo is a pretty nice guy, but holy choke artist. Why is Jones coddling him? I respect that Romo comes out and takes the blame, which he should - Who throws at Revis with the game on the line? - but it's so obvious Jones plays favorites, probably why the locker room implodes every season. Jones signed this guy for huge money, and he's done nothing but choke. So obviously he's going to have his back - but what the fuck are you talking about this is the best game you've seen him play? Are you serious?? Week 1 on national television and you have a 14 point lead going into the 4th quarter and you're franchise QB fumbles at the Jets 2 yard line and then throws a disgusting interception to Revis to lose the game and that's the best you've seen him play?? That's a really bad sign there Jerry boy.

Week 1: Jets Recap

Was there ever a doubt the Jets would pull off a miracle victory on 9/11? Ok, yes there was a lot of doubt, but for some unexplainable reason I knew they would make a comeback. I really can’t explain it. It’s like the football gods wouldn’t allow a Jets loss.

Overarching theme of the night for the Jets: resilience. The Jets fell behind by two possessions three different times last night. Each time, they answered with a score on the very next drive. They fell behind 10-0, then scored a touchdown to close out the first half. Then they went down 17-7 only to answer with a field goal to cut the deficit back to seven.

After falling behind 24-10 early in the fourth quarter, Sanchez led a seven-play, 84-yard scoring drive to put them back within striking distance. A huge drive that seems to get lost in the shuffle.

Then, after the Jets forced a Dallas turnover on the ensuing drive, Sanchez lost a fumble of his own. The defense then manned up to force a punt, which was blocked.

Welcome to relevance, Joe McKnight. In a game where the Jets only rushed the ball 16 times for 45 yards, their third-string running back made an enormous difference by blocking a punt which directly led to the tying touchdown. I apologize for suggesting the Jets should trade you last week.

This guy justified his roster spot.

Antonio Cromartie really struggled on Sunday night. He was beaten on both of Dallas’ passing scores, including one in which Miles Austin out-willed and out-muscled the ball away from Cro in end zone. It’s a great sign the Jets were able to win without him playing his best.

The Jets reallllly lucked out with the Dez Bryant injury. In the first eight minutes of the game Dez, had three catches for 71 yards and a touchdown along with a 12-yard punt return. Soon thereafter, he started cramping and had no impact on the game’s remaining 53 minutes.

The Jets committed zero penalties. Very disciplined football out of Gang Green. Have to give Rexy credit.

The Jets LBs combined for 19 tackles, two sacks, and a fumble recovery. This is a top-2 linebacking corps in the NFL. I love watching Bart Scott-David Harris-Calvin Pace-Bryan Thomas do their thing every play. They bring the heat at the quarterback, they lay big hits on anyone in their way, and they change the game outcomes on a weekly basis.

Tony Romo is about as unclutch as pre-2009 ARod. The play of the game was Romo’s boneheaded goal line fumble with under nine minutes to play and the ‘Boys leading by a touchdown. A field goal would have made it a two-possession game and could have put the game out of reach. I like Tony Romo, but if he keeps this up, he’ll be slapped with the “can’t win the big one” stigma before too long. Dallas’ playoff record with Romo at the helm is 1-3 including the disastrous botched snap in Seattle which was 100% Romo’s fault. Granted, this was not a playoff game, but miscues like this in front of a national audience cannot make Jerry Jones’ plastic face happy.

MetLife Stadium? That's it?

MetLife Stadium? That's just weak. I'm embarrassed.

Aaron Maybin Getting Cut Immediately Makes Me Wonder If His Career Stats Are Better Than Vernon Gholston's. They Are.

Aaron Maybin registered a cool 24 tackles in two seasons with the Buffalo Bills, 0 sacks and he was finally released today after being selected 11th overall in the 2009 draft and collecting near $11M in salary over that time. That's almost half a million dollars per tackle.

I still don't get why this isn't a bigger deal. I know Vernon Gholston has to deal with the fact he was a bust, but he got paid like he won the lottery so that should help. I know there have been busts out there, but holy shit with this guy. 5 year deal with $21M in guarantees, 6th overall in 2008 and take a look at these gaudy numbers he posted:

16 tackles? In 30 games? I think we all know he never registered a sack, but even with that said - In 30 games how do you not accidentally blindly by mistake run into the quarterback? How does the official scorer not accidentally mistake you for someone who actually gets a sack, maybe gives you half a sack because you were kind of on the same side of the field when a sack happened? The way this guy couldn't shed a blocker you'd think that was his job - might as well have put him at nose guard, he would've plugged up that line like a motherfucker the guy just attracted blockers like a magnet. Good thing he didn't reach any incentives, if he hit those the deal would've been worth $50M, lucky for the Jets he sucked so badly - saved them near $18M.

I know he took a "pay-cut" last year or whatever, but I'm sure that $21M was safely in the bank already.

Something I Just Thought Of And It Involves Bashing The Cowboys So It's Funny

Remember that trade between the Cowboys and Lions for Roy Williams? I feel the need to recap that trade so we can all laugh together:

Cowboys received:

Roy Williams (promptly signed him to a five-year extension worth $45M with $20M guaranteed)
+
2010 7th rounder

Lions received:

2009 1st rounder (Brandon Pettigrew), 3rd rounder, and 6th rounder

Somehow the Cowboys thought Roy Williams was worth a first round pick.... Let's see two other interesting WR trades since....

Brandon Marshall to Miami for 2010 2nd rounder + a 2011 2nd rounder. Marshall also signed a four-year, $47M extension with Miami.

Santonio Holmes (who was ineligible for the first 4 games of 2010) goes to the Jets for a 5th round pick in what might go down as the biggest trade steals of all-time.

Compare those two deals for two top flight receivers with the one the Cowboys made for a mid-level WR in Roy Williams. Got to love seeing Jerry Jones screw up so badly, I want to say it gets old after a while, but it really doesn't.