These TUMS Commercials Are Pretty Much Balls To The Wall Gay Right?

I'm not some sort of Homo hate monger now - these are definitely really gay right? Like "Hey Mike Waltrip thanks for making it down, look here's the scenario you're going to be holding a wielding cock shaped object and you're going to try and put it into your mouth but it's just going to degrade you and slap you all over the face, alright ACTION!" Like how bad is Waltrip's career that he had to revert to trying to insert uncooperative dick shaped objects into his mouth? That's kind of not even the funniest part, the "about time I'm really going to enjoy this" bite is hilarious. Like they're confirming they got it in their mouth while smiling and taking a bite at the same time it's so awkward, not like trying to get it in their mouth was awkward enough. Marketing 101 - well played TUMS.

Pictures Of NASCAR Drivers In High School Are Exactly What You'd Expect Them To Look Like

Mullets. Everywhere. This is literally EXACTLY what I expected when I thought about the day I came across NASCAR high school yearbook photos. Completely opposite world they lived in, if you had a fresh fade you were a fucking loser. Mullets all day urr day like a bunch of little toothless rednecks running around eating SPAM and drinking hot Budweiser's like it ain't no thang. Number one and number two are easy and to be honest I'm a little surprised Jimmie Johnson rocked a mullet - just didn't see that one coming. He's the only one I thought was the "outsider" like he grew up in NY or something and just decided to race a car one day because he understood it took no athletic skill at all and it wasn't a real sport and he got cut from the baseball team and didn't want to disgrace his family by becoming gay and playing lacrosse so he set out to show all these rednecks he could pick up racing and just win with no problem even though he didn't know shit about it type of thing. But I guess in the end he's just like these guys, mullets for days. But number three.... Who the fuck is that? No way you guessed that one.... Tony Fuckin Stewart! No fucking way right?? Yo Tony you got some shit on your lip! Sweet mustache bro. Clean it up! This guy does Old Spice Swagger commercials?? Where's your swag right here Tone? You're already killing it with the mullet, but the thin 'stache is just overkill at this point, way over the top - less is more.... Less is more.... If you can't grow it thick like my man Jeff Gordon, just accept the fact you don't have what it takes. Not many people can rock the gross 'stache slash mullet combo like my man Jeff, gotta know your limits brother.

Matt Kenseth's Wife Makes Sharp Turn Directly Into A Wall



Yahoo Sports - Katie was practicing for the "Better Half Dash" on Oct. 15 at Charlotte Motor Speedway. In that race, drivers will go 25 laps on a quarter-mile track at the speedway. They'll be driving bandoleros, which are in effect souped-up go-karts with full, enclosed bodies. The cars can hit speeds as high as 70 mph and are designed for entry-level drivers, often kids as young as 8 years old. During practice, Katie Kenseth apparently took a sharp turn and hit what is usually the pit road wall. Prior to the practice, joking on Twitter that there was "no sign of Danica [Patrick]'s husband."

Well that was a funny fucking joke there Kate, I bet Danica Patrick's husband laughed his dick off when you decided to go one-on-one with that wall. Is this or is this not example #2,945,838 why chicks should never drive? Can't handle a car made for an 8-year old. And as per usual, her bump into the wall has ambulances and SWAT on the scene to make sure her scratches are okay, extracting her with the jaws of life, tactically applying those band-aids. Just making sure all the attention is on her, ruining the event for everyone. Guarantee this came right after some smoke was interviewing her husband and this is some par for the course psycho wife plan to get attention. Typical.

DANICA PATRICK TO RACE NASCAR IN 2012!!!!

Yahoo! - The worst-kept secret in motorsports is a secret no more. Danica Patrick, arguably the country's best-known racer, will jump from IndyCar to NASCAR full-time beginning with the 2012 season.

Wearing the same leather-jumpsuit and high heels from her commercials, Patrick, alongside GoDaddy.com CEO Bob Parsons, made the announcement in Phoenix at a flash-and-dazzle event that was more GoDaddy rally than press conference.

"For breaking news that will shock the world, we are excited to finally announce that GoDaddy will be taking me full-time into NASCAR next year," Patrick said. "Very exciting. I'm just excited to finally say it."





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