Guy Surfs Billion Foot Wave

I'm probably the last human to give respect to any person who participates in any sport outside of basketball, football and baseball - maybe hockey - but I'll give this guy some props first off on being a fucking nutjob and secondly for somehow not dying. I'm pretty terrified of the ocean, I kind of want to go on a cruise one day but don't want to end up like Jack in Titanic even if I do get to paint some huge tits before I die but drowning has to be up there with one of the worst ways to die. I need my shit to be instant, like getting a train rammed up my asshole - that's got to be instantaneous death. Probably wouldn't feel a thing. Explosions? Sign me up. Rocket right through the face? Good with that. But drowning and burning to death are fighting for last place on my ways to die list. They're like the Dolphins and Colts right now. Either way Bodhi fuckin' killed that wave, but shit like catching it on camera from 7 angles in perfect HD and embarrassing the shit out of that wave scares me to death because next time you see this guys name in the news, it's going to be the ocean that wins.

RIP Dwight Arrington Myers

Heard this news last night, was kind of shocked by it. Shocked actually that Heavy D was only 44, makes it a little tougher to hear he was so young. Anytime someone dies that young it sucks but he was one of the good guys and he left a solid legacy behind. Not to date myself or clichè it up, but growing up this was some of the first hip-hop I ever heard. It was back when I'd hide the radio under my blanket when I was supposed to be sleeping but was secretly sneaking in some of that illegal rap stuff. His stuff was an absolute staple at all our middle school dances. When all the guys stood on one side and all the girls stood on another his songs were blazing and sounded a lot clearer without all the bodies in the way so the sound could bounce uninterrupted off the gym walls. But this is sad news for sure, unfortunate he was never as big as Tupac or Biggie and won't be celebrated the way they were, but some of the younger thundercats will get to hear some of old school shit that brought hip-hop to where it is now. I'm sure the intention wasn't to let people like Soulja Boy Tell 'Em Crank Dat and Ying Yang Twins and these other fucking assholes ruin it but whatever.

Drake's New Album Leaked The Other Day And It Is Straight Fucking Fire

And look at this fancy ass playlist thing I got, can't spare any expenses when I've got Drake's new shit all over Swagstein, gotta roll out the red carpet for this guy. Enjoy, listen, and buy the fucking album November 15th. It's that good.

What Do You Do When You're Desperate For Attention After Getting Beat Again And People Finally Realize You're Just Not That Good Anymore?

You cut Albert Haynesworth. That'll show 'em.


PS - This is the only picture I could find of him in a Patriots uniform, him getting manhandled by the Giants in a preseason game by a guy who's RotoWorld profile looks like this:



Eli Still Getting Absolutely No Credit

ESPN - Aaron Rodgers is the MVP, and it isn't even close. Last season was the first time there was a unanimous winner of the Associated Press's Most Valuable Player award, with Tom Brady winning all 50 of the votes. This year should be the second time. One of the main criteria for being an elite quarterback is consistency. Eli Manning has been consistently good this season late in games. He has five fourth-quarter comeback wins, two more than the next-closest quarterbacks, Cincinnati's Andy Dalton and San Francisco's Alex Smith. Sunday at New England, the Giants twice trailed the Patriots in the fourth quarter, and twice Manning brought them back. On third-and-5 at the New England 10-yard line, he threw a touchdown strike to Mario Manningham to take a 17-13 lead. After the Patriots scored to retake the lead 20-17, Manning led the Giants on an 80-yard drive in the final 90 seconds that included a huge third-down throw to Jake Ballard and a pass interference call against New England at the goal line. Manning's fourth-quarter numbers: 8-of-13 for 93 yards and two touchdowns.

Okay, so Aaron Rodgers leading the unbelievably heavily favored defending champions at full strength to an 8-0 start is MVP worthy - but a guy having an absolutely phenomenal career season leading a team that has taken mass casualties to key guys at key positions isn't even given more than "consistently good late in games"? How does ESPN let women write for them? This girl obviously never played football, and odds are she just gets her information from box scores - but if he's been only "good" late in games then the rest of the QB's in the league have fucking sucked. Newsflash toots, Eli Manning is fucking great in the 4th quarter to the point where he leads the league, and it isn't even close.

This guy gets absolutely no credit, but at least give it to him when it's due. Guy goes into Foxboro and beats Brady after telling the world he's in the same class as the guy. Well Eli was obviously wrong, because he was in a higher class than the Uggs poster boy yesterday. The thing I can't stand is Eli drives the Giants to two 80 yard TD drives in the final 3 minutes of the game on the road in a place no one has beaten Brady in the regular season since November of '06, and all people talked about was the one INT he had in the 3rd quarter that obviously has nothing to do with anything since it had no impact on the final score. Now Brady, Mr Fucking Perfect can't seem to do anything wrong. Guy throws 2 picks, loses a fumble but no one is talking about how shitty he's been playing. Head to head Eli has beaten Brady twice in a row, both on 4th quarter comebacks. So why isn't there more blame on Brady? Why isn't anyone asking if he just doesn't have it anymore? Maybe he's not so cool under pressure? Maybe it was the Gatorade Bottles Fault?

PS - That's the closest Brady came to hitting Ochocinco yesterday.

I don't know but this guy needs to start feeling the heat for once. Eli has taken so much shit over his career and he's still got that "Aw shucks gee willikers I'm just out there doing my best" attitude that might just be the best thing to have playing in NY when even when you win a Super Bowl in the most dramatic fashion in your 4th season and it doesn't mean shit because everyone still seems to hate you, best to just not give a fuck. I give Eli a ton of credit, had a terrible season last year with the 25 picks and I've said for a long time many of those weren't his fault. But living amongst the most arrogant and delusional fans I've ever dealt with, Jets fans, they continued pointing to that stat and how Sanchez will be better than him (absolutely hilarious) but I don't know if the Jets can just waltz into Foxboro without their #1 RB, #1 WR and starting center, and beat Tom Brady and the Patriots like it's no big deal. Eli never once said the INT's were anyone else's fault but his own, another thing I give him credit for - but he worked hard to overcome that, and half a season in - the guy has thrown only 6 picks. Brady has 10.

For a guy who had a ridiculously high QB rating in the 4th quarter, Eli's has actually gone up after yesterdays come from behind win against the Pats. It now sits a shade over 121, ten points higher than the #2 QB, Aaron Rodgers. You know - that guy who's the clear cut favorite for the MVP. I'm not gonna lie or pull punches here, there's no way Rodgers is a unanimous MVP of this league. He's a great QB - but he better fucking win with that roster. Eli Manning needs to be considered because just like his brother - if he's not behind center, this team might have 0 wins right now. He's carrying this team on his back right now, and he's proving to the whole fucking world he's ELIte like a motherfucker.

Can Someone Bankroll My Ass Already?!

3-0 motherfuckers! Just like I said I'd do it. 4-1 including the WC picks that should've been 5-0 because honestly who the fuck catches a punt backpedaling onto your own 1 yard line in overtime and then break 39 tackles and run it back for a TD?????? Can't get started on that or I'll jump out of the window, fucking Patrick Peterson what an asshole. Anyway, for the meaningful picks I absolutely bossed it, combined with Mike's demoralizing week, that gives me a major jump in the standings.

What I said about the Giants/Pats game:

I don't like Brady and his nonchalant style in the pocket against this pass rush. That said, it could be one of two games. The Patriots come out and rip through the Giants poor rushing defense with another guy no one has heard of, or they try to shoot it out. Unfortunately for Brady, he's not playing Mark Sanchez this week, he's playing fellow MVP candidate Eli Manning and he's throwing against your 32nd ranked pass defense. I would love for this game to turn into a shootout, if it does, Giants should hang and stay close and possibly steal the game in Foxboro.

I don't think the Giants even got a good pass rush going during this game, I think the Patriots did a great job of protecting Brady, but the secondary played way over their heads all game and did a good job disrupting Brady's timing by getting their hands on guys at the line. Welker still had his 34 catches and all, but when it counted the Giants were up to the challenge of stopping Brady. Again. Took the over in this game with a ton of confidence, but it wasn't until the second half they started moving the ball on each other - but like I said the Giants should hang close and possibly steal the game in Foxboro and that's precisely what happened.

Prediction: Giants should hang and stay close and possibly steal the game in Foxboro. Actual: Giants stayed close and replayed Super Bowl XLII and stole the game in Foxboro.

What I said about the 49ers/Redskins game:

I love Patrick Willis, which means I love San Francisco. I also hate the Redskins. John Beck vs. Patrick Willis? Yeah right. Like that's a question. Cannot believe this is only a 3 point spread. I'm all over SF here, their defense will put up more points than the Redskins offense.

David Akers 12, Washington Redskins 11. The Redskins are pathetic. The 49ers played like shit and still beat them easily. The score of 19-11 looks a lot closer than it is, a fluke TD at the end of the game combined with a two point conversion and it looks like this was a game, it wasn't. Patrick Willis 13 tackles, 9 solo, beast.

Prediction: 49ers defense will score more than the Redskins offense. Actual: David Akers scored more than the Redskins offense. Close enough.

What I said about the Bengals/Tennessee game:

I love the combination of Andy Dalton to AJ Green, they look like they've been playing together for years. I like the matchup for the Bengals, they should win this game straight up.

AJ Green 7 catches on 7 targets. These two have chemistry just dripping out of their asses. The Bengals didn't do much but they didn't have to. Their defense held CJ to 64 yards as he continues to look more like Cedric Benson than Cedric Benson but Dalton threw for 3 TDs and has the Bengals sitting at 6-2 (4-1 on the road, dayum).

Prediction: They should win this game straight up. Actual: They won the game straight up.

Wild Card Picks:

St. Louis (L) - Don't want to talk about it.

Baltimore (W) - I told Galt all week that Pittsburgh was not a good pick, and the Ravens helped me prove it by going into Heinz Field and sweeping the season series with the Steelers. Ray Rice dominating including a phantom hold by Torrey Smith which negated an opening grenade to the Steelers dicks 76 yard TD run. It's okay because after 7 huge drops that hit him either right in between his hands or right between the 8 and the 2 on his jersey - he caught the game winner.

2011 Record: 16-9-2 (WC; 3-7)

Who Just Went Into Foxboro And Beat Tom Brady??





#EliSwagForDays