Burger King Delivers?

Yahoo - Are you craving a Whopper but just don't want to get off of your favorite chair to run out to get it? Now you can have it your way with just a jog to your front door. Burger King, who is now No. 2 in fast food burger chains behind McDonald's, has been doing a test run in the delivery service in the Washington, D.C., area. The delivery service is a major business strategy to keep their fast food junkies happy and to keep them coming back. Now the customer can keep coming back by having the food coming directly to them. The question remains as to how burgers and fries will stay fresh and edible when they arrive at your doorstep. Burger King says that they have an answer to that question. They have developed a way of transporting their burgers. They have developed a "proprietary thermal packaging technology," says Jonathan Fitzpatrick, chief brand and operations officer for Burger King, "which ensures the Whopper is delivered hot and fresh, and the french fries are delivered hot and crispy." Fresh hot food, quick delivery and you don't even have to leave the house. What more could you ask for in a burger joint?

I call bullshit. There is absolutely ZERO percent chance those fries are hot and crispy. That's such a bag of lies I can't even stand it. I don't care what "technology" they think they have, but unless they're carrying around a fryer full of boiling oil I can't see any of that being real. Just no way a place like Burger King and its employees could give a SHIT about what your food tastes like once you get it, shit you already paid for it. You're getting a mushy soggy Whopper and room temperature rubber fries, just no way around that. But you're absolutely nutso if you don't think I'm trying this as soon as I possibly can.

Reality TV Officially Out Of Control

Huffington Post - For the four paralyzed women starring in a new reality series, the show is about pushing right through stereotypes, disappointments and career obstacles. Set to debut in April, "Push Girls" will give viewers an unscripted look into the lives of four gorgeous ladies who became disabled after enduring tragic car accidents or debilitating diseases, the Sundance Channel announced. Producers hope that by bringing the series into mainstream television, they'll demonstrate how strong people with disabilities are -- and that it's OK to look and talk about their conditions. "The indomitable spirit of this series will give viewers permission to stare at a world that they may previously have been too polite -- or too frightened -- to explore," Sarah Barnett, Sundance Channel's General Manager, said in a release.

I put this right up there with flamboyant gayness, hardcore religious freaks and people like Craig Sager - just pure attention whores - look I have no problem with you being gay and shit, just don't shove it down my throat. You ever ride the subway in NYC and see two huge lezbos with low fades, JNCO's and cut sleeve jean jackets just finger blasting the fuck out of each other while staring at you? All the time right? Like I have no problem with you "guys" doing whatever you wanna do, just don't stare at me while you're doing it like you're challenging me not to look at you or something. It's like they don't do it because they wanna finger blast each other or they like wearing really stupid outfits, they just do it for attention because they want you to watch them and then call you a pervert and make a scene, like what they're doing is completely normal... Like don't tell me how much you love God and how much I should love him, fuck outta here with that. Craig Sager, just report the fucking injuries from the locker room without wearing the entire Tommy Bahama clothing line at the same time. And if you're in a wheelchair, don't make a reality show telling me I need to pay attention to you because you're in a wheelchair. I fucking HATE when people who are disabled cry about wanting to be treated like everyone else, and then when they're treated like everyone else they fucking cry about how disabled they are. Now we need a reality TV show about people rolling around making all the rest of us depressed watching them get out of bed and shit? No thanks. This reality TV thing is way out of control, can I get a scripted make believe sitcom please???

Husband Gives Up Life Jacket To Save Wife Because She Couldn't Swim; Husband Promptly Drowns

HuffPo - He did what any husband would have done for his wife. As the Costa Concordia cruise ship went down off the west coast of Italy Jan. 13, Nicole Servel's husband, Francis, gave her the only life jacket they had, Emirates247.com reports. That was the last she saw of him. "I owe my life to my husband," Servel, 61, told the news outlet, explaining she doesn't know how to swim.

What world am I living in? Newsflash people, life isn't a Nicholas Sparks novel, when 61 year old bitches can't swim: people die. And what the hell are they talking about with this "he did what any husband would have done for his wife" nonsense? Ummm does this idiot know the divorce rate in this country? It's like 99% and 99% of that is a direct result of Facebook. I'd think that's the perfect time to act like you're trying real hard to take the vest of to give it to her but you can't seem to get the strap to loosen, you know how stubborn those things get? Then once she goes under just whistle and start looking around then paddle your ass to the Italian coast and enjoy life with no divorce filings and child support payments. Boom, done and done.

Julie Bowen Gets Absolutely Owned On The Red Carpet By Sofia Vergara; Immediately Points It Out And Jokes About It Trying To Play It Cool Means She Knows For Fact She Got Owned

Ummmm definitely does not help when you dress like a man.

Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen have plenty of experience working together on "Modern Family," which took home the Golden Globe for Best TV Comedy Suday night. But when they bumped into each other on the red carpet of the Golden Globe Awards, Bowen couldn't help but observe that standing next to her co-star wasn't exactly her most flattering look. Vergara had been telling Ryan Seacrest about her pre-awards show fitness regimen -- which involved two-a-day gym workouts and a diet of cake -- when Seacrest noticed Bowen waiting off-camera, next in line for an interview. When he called over to join them, Bowen found herself in the unenviable position of standing next to the voluptuous Vergara. Bowen had to joke about it. "My dream, always, to stand next to Sofia," she quipped. The interview got sillier from there, as Vergara worried that she wouldn't be able to walk down the stairs because her dress was so tight. As she mentioned she might have to slide down the stairs, Bowen offered to block her from the camera's view with her gown, and lifted up the bottom of it in jest. Once Vergara was off-camera, Bowen couldn't help but continue to compare herself to her co-star. "I can out-gun her any day of the week," Bowen said, flexing her biceps to prove it.

Well at least you got the bigger muscle look going for you there Jules. She can act like she's joking all she wants, but there's no denying this was 100% serious. You know no girl wants to be upstaged on camera, and when it comes to upstaging there's no one better than Sofia Vergara. She's an absolute dick wrecker when she's not even trying, so her on the red carpet with her A game? That's a wrap. It's one of those games that's won on paper, one that you can safely say doesn't even need to be played. No chance for an upset here. Julie, don't even strap up the heels tonight, just save your energy and some gas mileage and watch from the couch, take some notes. Instead of barbell curls, try some yoga and two a day treadmill sessions like your girl here.





Marky Mark Goes HAM On 9/11 Comment

Yahoo - In a recent interview with Men's Journal, Mark Wahlberg made a remark about the 9/11 attacks that could spark a considerable controversy. Wahlberg was originally scheduled to fly on one of the planes that hit the World Trade Center. Fortunately for him, he took a different flight a week earlier. When he spoke to Men's Journal about what could have been, Wahlberg remarked, "If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.'" Wahlberg quickly apologized for the remark. According to gossip site TMZ, he said that his comments were "irresponsible" and that "to speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with. I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention."

Tough to defend Marky here, sucks because I like the guy, but even I know sometimes things cross the line and this looks like one of those times. I'm all about 9/11 conspiracies and shit, and I still don't think we know the whole truth about it, but I'm not about to get famous and then say I would've saved thousands of people from certain death because I beat people up in movies and shit.

On the other hand, to his defense, guy was supposed to be on that plane. I don't know what kind of mental toll that must have on a person, but not like the guy has been struggling to live. He's made about $500 million since 2001 so can't really complain about him not living life to the fullest here. Seems to be the attitude he's taken, but still who knows how he deals with this shit. I don't know how I'd get over whatever kind of survivors guilt I'd have knowing I was supposed to be on a plane that hit the WTC. Just some crazy shit to have to deal with, so all in all I've gotta give some kudos to the guy for going over 10 years without saying anything public about it.

PS - If his comment "If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry." wasn't straight out of Chuck Norris' mouth then I don't know what world we're living in right now. So I guess I defend Wahlberg because he obviously didn't say that, Chuck Norris did, but he did it in Mark Wahlberg's body, because Chuck Norris can do that.

Dwayne Wade Gets Free $230,000 Car Because He Can't Afford One Himself Or Anything

Yahoo - Dwyane Wade's gorgeous girlfriend, actress Gabrielle Union, threw the Miami Heat All-Star a birthday party the other day, and a local car dealership decided to one-up the actress/model by gifting the guard a McLaren valued at nearly a quarter of a million dollars. The ancient adage that the richer you become, the more free stuff you get is rolling hard and heavy in Miami these days. Counting birthday gifts as "free stuff" is a bit of a stretch, but counting a McLaren MP4-12C as a "birthday gift" is nearly as big a stretch. It was a stretch to even deliver the car into the party, as the dealership awarding the exotic, 592-brake horsepower machine had to deliver the automobile in by crane as it couldn't be driven through the hotel hosting Wade's party. Good thing, because the McLaren can get to 60 mph in just 3.2 seconds on its way toward reaching a top speed of 205 mph. Of course, Edmunds points out that the McLaren is "not as visceral as other exotic" cars, so let's not get too jealous of D-Wade just yet, you guys. A picture of Wade with the car, and a video review of the McLaren follows after the jump.

What's the point of this? Does Wade even care he got this? Edmunds.com even pointed out how unimpressive the thing is, so you think Wade who could legit buy 67 of these based on his salary this season is remotely interested in getting this car? Absolutely not. So what's the motive here? The dealership trying to suck him off a little so he'll buy his shit from them? The dealership thinking it'll get some pub from this? Because this entire article had zero mention of who even gave him the car. So unless your sole purpose was to get Wade's business and only Wade's business, your $230,000 investment sort of sucks.

PS - How "mad black woman" do you think Gabrielle Union got by being completely upstaged by some no name car dealership?

Snooki Takes Off Her Makeup And Looks Kind Of Hot?

Gather - Who knew? Jersey Shore star Snooki actually looks good without makeup. Earlier today, star tweeted a picture of herself without her multiple layers of makeup that include plenty of bronzer and a super smoky eye. Earlier today, the guidette tweeted, "No make up day :) and IDC :)" with a link to the shocking picture. The response to her brave tweet was overwhelmingly positive, too. Perhaps Nicole Polizzi should keep her make under style for a while, or at least tone things down a bit in her everyday life. Throughout the day, fans tweeted things like, "Snooki's cute without make-up." Over and over, people were mostly positive about her toned down look. Do you think she will take this support as a hint? After receiving so many positive tweets, Snooki tweeted, "Can I just say how AMAZING my fans/supporters are! You guys really know how to put a smile on my face! Love You all beyond words...." She seems surprised that people appreciated her without makeup.

Look you can ask anyone how I feel about the Jersey Shore and they'll tell you not even to bring it up near me because I'll go ape shit. I hate this entire thing so much I could go on a month long rant about it, I can't believe these frauds actually make money from this shit, or that people even care about their lives.... That said and out of the way, I've always been a huge supporter of no makeup - maybe some basic minimums to cover up the gross parts, but you get the point.. So anyway I see this headline and first feeling is pure unadulterated excitement. I cannot wait to see this beastly looking thing with no makeup on and just go to blog town on her. I mean look at that picture in the bottom left and tell me you can't see some sort of amazon monster under all that shit? Well fuck me right? Because she kind of looks legit with no makeup. Granted she probably took 78 self portraits until she looked manageable, but credit where credit is due - she pulled it off... I would.