WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. GOING. ON.!??!?!?!?!!?!

I might look tough, but I'm the biggest pussy you've ever seen.

RB 1 Darren McFadden
Sidelined
Darren McFadden (foot) has been ruled out for Week 13. McFadden went through yet another week without practicing, and his Week 14 status is uncertain. Michael Bush will continue to be a workhorse at Miami.

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) is missing from practice again on Thursday.
NFL Network's Jason LaCanfora reported a week ago that McFadden would be out until at least Week 14, so it's no surprise that he's not practicing again this week. Any work that he does on Friday would likely be in preparation for the Packers, not the Dolphins. Source: Steve Corkran on Twitter Dec 1 - 1:30 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) did not participate in Raiders practice Wednesday.
McFadden raised fantasy owners' hopes when he turned in a "light" workout Monday, but his "workout" consisted of "mostly walking." The Contra Costa Times' Steve Corkran has cautioned not to "count on (McFadden) playing Sunday." The Raiders are on the record as saying their elite back will not return until he's 100 percent healthy, and right now, that's not something he sounds close to. Source: Vittorio Tafur on Twitter Nov 30 - 2:05 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) conducted a "light" workout on the side of the Raiders' practice field Monday, but appeared to be "mostly walking."
As John Dickinson of 95.7 The Game in Oakland notes, it's the first time McFadden has been on the field at all since his October 23 mid-foot sprain. The workout was short and not extensive, but it is perhaps a sign that McFadden will try to practice sooner rather than later. Our early-week expectation is still that Michael Bush will start in Week 13 against the Dolphins. Source: John Dickinson on Twitter Nov 28 - 1:50 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Coach Hue Jackson hinted Friday that the Raiders will have to ease Darren McFadden (foot, out) back into the lineup when he does finally return.
It sounds like McFadden would initially return as a part-time player, making it conceivable that he won't be a fantasy option for the greater portion of what's left of the regular season. "It’s hard to come back when you’ve been gone that long to just hit the ground running and expect him to be exactly what he was before he left," Jackson said. "We’ll have a plan to take care of that. We just want him back, that’s the most important thing. I want to get the player back out here at practice at some point in time." Source: Oakland Tribune Nov 25 - 7:33 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) missed Raiders practice again Friday and has been ruled out for Week 12.
Michael Bush will be a candidate for 30 touches in Sunday's matchup with the Bears. McFadden still has no timetable for return, and the Raiders have clearly been in no hurry to rush him back. He's no lock to play in Week 13. Nov 25 - 2:55 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders NFL Network's Jason LaCanfora reports Darren McFadden could miss "a few more games" with a nagging foot injury.
He's always been a slow healer, but this is getting ridiculous for McFadden's fantasy owners. Per LaCanfora's sources, McFadden is "still is very limited and unable to do much." Teammates don't expect to see him on the field until Week 14 against the Packers -- at the earliest. Michael Bush should maintain RB1 value in the mean time. Related: Michael BushSource: NFL.com Nov 25 - 11:02 AM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) was not participating at Raiders practice Thursday.
McFadden is tentatively targeting Week 13 for his return, but his inability to even put in a limited practice this week is concerning. Michael Bush will remain a high-upside fantasy play against the Bears Sunday. Source: Vittorio Tafur on Twitter Nov 24 - 1:11 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) was absent from Raiders practice Wednesday.
A fairly strong indication McFadden will not be active for Week 12 since the Raiders have pledged to hold their star running back out until he's 100 percent healthy. A limited session on Thursday would leave the door open for DMC to play against the Bears, but all signs are pointing toward Michael Bush making another start. Source: Steve Corkran on Twitter Nov 23 - 1:25 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Beat writer Steve Corkran believes Darren McFadden (foot) will be ready to play by Week 13.
Corkran was just answering a question on Twitter, so this is far from a concrete news report. But if McFadden does return against the Dolphins in Week 13, he will have had a full six weeks off and figures to be close to 100 percent. It would be a step in the right direction if he can get back in a limited practice this week. Related: Michael BushSource: Steve Corkran on Twitter Nov 23 - 8:53 AM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Coach Hue Jackson insisted the Raiders aren't hiding anything when it comes to Darren McFadden (foot).
McFadden has been out since Week 7, but Jackson says there's nothing more than a mid-foot sprain here. It's possible that McFadden is simply a slow healer. The Raiders are already on the record saying McFadden won't play until he's 100 percent healthy. Source: Contra Costa Times Nov 22 - 11:34 AM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Raiders coach Hue Jackson said Monday that Darren McFadden (foot) will not play until he is 100 percent healthy.
It sucks for fantasy owners, but it's a smart decision for the Raiders, who are in first place in the AFC West with both the Chiefs and Chargers nosediving. Michael Bush is also on a tear. Beat writer Steve Corkran suggested Monday that Bush could get 30 more carries against the Bears in Week 12. "That’d be 90 in three games," replied the Raiders' head coach. "That's pretty good." Source: Oakland Tribune Nov 21 - 6:25 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) missed Raiders practice again on Friday and has been ruled out for Week 11.
McFadden didn't get in a single practice rep this week and will be replaced by Michael Bush for at least one more game. Incredibly slow to recover from his now five-week mid-foot sprain, DMC should have a shot to return in Week 12. Source: Oakland Tribune Nov 18 - 1:32 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Darren McFadden (foot) was held out of practice again on Thursday.
"Can't imagine him playing Sunday under any circumstances," relays Steve Corkran of the Contra Costa Times. The tea leaves suggest McFadden is aiming for a Week 12 return against the Bears. Source: Steve Corkran on Twitter Nov 17 - 1:21 PM

Darren McFadden - RB - Raiders Raiders coach Hue Jackson insisted Wednesday that Darren McFadden is "making huge progress" in his recovery from a mid-foot sprain.
Both the San Francisco Chronicle and Oakland Tribune consider McFadden very unlikely to play in Week 11, but Week 12 now seems more possible. As reported previously, McFadden has shed his protective walking boot. Michael Bush will start Sunday's game at Minnesota, and the Raiders face the Bears next. At that point, McFadden will have sat out five weeks (four games and a bye). Source: San Francisco Chronicle Nov 16 - 4:35 PM

HOLY SHIT! That's only half the fucking updates that have come over the last 7 weeks since I've traded for Darren McFadden. He played exactly 1 fucking game for me before stubbing his toe on air. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with this guy?? Can someone tell me? I feel like gaining knowledge of his injury is harder to obtain than the fucking launch codes for nuclear missiles. This is officially off the wall crazytown. I can't even begin to express my frustration with this fucking insanely fraudulent assessment of an injury so I'm going to leave it at this. I'll tell you what, if he's not back on the fucking practice field this week, he's getting cut like he's Andre Caldwell. Fuck him.

PS - If Darren McFadden somehow finds this post and reads it I'm pretty sure I'm dead.

UPDATE:

Not shocked.